Thursday, July 30, 2009


Yep.. that's right... It's Thursday. Today is sort of like my Friday. I am working my last Afternoon shift and then I am off tomorrow. Only tomorrow though. It's OK. I have to work on the weekend and then, I am off for Monday (Canadian holiday) and Tuesday (my regular day off). Ange is off today to take her parents to the airport. They are going to Portugal for 2 weeks. Her mom is by no means any better, but wants to go to Portugal when she still can. Her doctors have cleared her for the trip, but she must not stay longer than two weeks. Well, this means we will be looking after their two dogs. So we will have 4 dogs all together in our place. We're pretty use to it though. I'm a little upset because the dogs keep peeing on the grass and it is killing the grass. We just bought that grass too. I went to the Pet*Smart today and asked if they had anything that would keep the pee from killing the grass and the woman told me I would have to go to the hardware store for stuff like that. So I stroll down the one Isle and what do I find? Yep, Stuff that keeps the pee from killing the grass lol. Thanks for all the help lady! I was hoping to find something that we could spray on the grass so the dogs would not have to ingest anything, I found something that said it makes the burnt spots from the pee look greener instantly... Then I thought, it probably contains green die of some sort and just paints the grass green, well I don't want that ... so I ended up with the little liver flavoured pills that the dogs are supposed to enjoy. I hope they do. I am a little worried that it isn't actually the pee killing the grass but something else. I went out and had a good look at it this afternoon, and the dead spots are pretty moist (sorry Heidi if you read this) and a little mushy and slimy looking. So I am wondering if maybe the water isn't draining properly and maybe drowning out patches of the grass... who knows. I don not have a green thumb.
Some talk has come about with Angela's parents that they would like to purchase a house here in our city, and have us all live in it together. A couple of things about this are.. Ange isn't officially "out" to her parents, although I think they pretty well know, her dad asked her if we sleep in the same room or different rooms. Another thing is that they don't find that it is necessary for an in law suite. I think I would be a lot more comfortable in an in law suite situation. Its not that I don't like her parents. I love them like family. But the thing is, we are trying to have a baby etc. and well.. I think I will want my privacy. Angela thinks that they will only really be around for 2 months out of the year because they are hoping to retire to Portugal. But my point is that they won't be going anytime soon, due to the illness and the knee surgery etc. It makes sense to me that they would live in an in law suite at our house because we can be responsible for the yard etc, and it would save us a lot of money. But we need to know what the plan is. I mean, we are renting right now with hopes to be in our own house soon. But I don't want to go out and purchase a house that is not conducive to the In law situation, and then have to go and buy another house and move again.. etc .. but i also don't want to rent too much longer. Ange was suppose to talk to her parents more about it today, but I don't think she has. I just don't like not having a plan. I won't be too worried about it until next Jan because that is when our lease where we are is up and we'll have to sign for another year. We'll see.

Monday, July 27, 2009


I woke up this morning with a headache. I'm not really a headache type of person. I get migraines on rare occasions, but I don't often have just a headache. I think it is because I was drinking beer last night.
Not too much is new these days. It is like we are getting into the "busy" time of the year. We can't seem to find two days that we don't have something planned. Its exhausting.
I went to Angela's back to back baseball games yesterday and got a burn. Lucky for me though, it doesn't hurt to much... Just at my hairline. All my adult life, I have worn hats. Baseball hats. Everyday, unless I was going out somewhere "special" and beginning July 1, I dared myself to not wear it. It has been 27 days since I have worn a hat, and I don't really miss it. I am thinking that age 32, is probably a good age to give up the hat.
I was getting a bald spot in the front from it anyway.
So, I got called to come into work early today for a meeting. I can either call the next staff in early to relieve me, or I can earn "time owing". I think I'll take the time owing. I am going to need it on Saturday. If I can get off at 3 pm instead of at 6 pm, that would be fantastic. We'll see though after I'm at work. I might change my mind.

Monday, July 20, 2009


Well right on schedule, Af showed up at 7:00am sharp. I am looking at this as good news today. The reason for that is that it came exactly 14 days after ovulation, which means I am having good cycles. :)

Sunday, July 19, 2009

12 & 13 DPO

I broke down and tested yesterday. BFN. It was 12 DPO. I won't lie, I was disappointed. I wanted it to be positive, just so I would know for sure. I feel a lot like I am getting my AF soon because my abdomen is sort of bloated and not really crampy but just strange. Really a lot like how I feel when expecting my AF. I am a little surprised to be honest, I really was beginning to have a good feeling because of the weird emotional and gagging sickness I was having. I didn't test again this morning, because I was too afraid of another negative.
I will wait until at least tomorrow to test again if I don't see the AF.

Friday, July 17, 2009

11 DPO

I still have no clue if this insem worked or not. I am 11 dpo today. That means I could test tomorrow, I got my bfp on 12 dpo last time. I don't know, I think I'll just wait until Monday to see if AF shows up. If not, I'll test on Tuesday morning. Tuesday is my day off.
My breasts still really aren't sore, but a couple of other things going on to that sway me from the absolutely didn't work category. I am now thinking 90% not pregnant, 10% possible.
I bawled my eyes out the other day watching Inter.vention. But all of the symptoms I've been having, could just be normal for me. I can't tell. I keep craving Zesty D.oritos, and am eating more than usual, not craving sweets like I normally do, sort of constipated, but that could be from lack of drinking water. My breasts aren't sore like they were last time, but they are sort of weird... just not normal for me. Tuesday just can't get here fast enough. I've been having af like cramps off an on, just mild ones for the last while. Oh I don't know.
*** UPDATE***
I was having Mc Donald's Chicken Mc Nuggets for lunch with Fries, I couldn't eat the fries because they made me gag. I think I can recall this happening last pregnancy. I could be wrong. Even just typing this made me gag again. 11% possiblilty now. ;)

Monday, July 13, 2009

Je ne sais quoi

So, today is 7 DPO. I am convinced now that the insemination didn't work. I have been driving myself nuts the last week just searching for symptoms. There were a few things that made me think that it had worked, AF like cramps, headache, exhaustion, cravings, nausea, hyper-smelling, mood swings, emotionality and weird dreams, but the thing that put me over the top in the didn't work direction is the fact that my nipples are not sore at all yet. By this time last time I had a BFP, My nipples were extremely sore. It's funny because it really wasn't that long ago that I had my first BFP, but now, it's like I can't remember how I felt at all. I know they say that symptoms can vary from woman to woman and even from pregnancy to pregnancy, but I just feel like I am searching too hard and that any little thing to me is a symptom. I do remember "just knowing" last time, and sometimes I get that feeling, but then I can't remember if it is authentic, or the feeling I had with every other BFN, just a hopeful feeling. One week to go and we'll know for the absolute. I have however given it over to the natural unfolding of my life. If it was meant to happen this time, It would, and if not, we'll just keep trying. It's OK.
We had a pretty busy weekend this weekend.
Friday - Angela and I went to our friend's father's funeral. It was a nice service. After it was over we went to my friend's mom's house and just sat around talking and things. It was really one of the nicest afternoons I have had in a long time.
Saturday - Was the boys' wedding reception. It was very small and intimate, but very nice. I must say however, that nothing is without silent drama. ;) After the reception was over, we went out with some other friends to a bar downtown, where there was feces on the floor of the bathroom because the toilet had overflowed. SICK.. I am gagging just thinking about it. We got home pretty late that night (3:00am) and today, I am suffering because of it.
Sunday - We went with our friends to see "Bruno". I have to say that some parts were funny, and there were some surprisingly big names who ended up showing up at the end of the movie, but most of it was kind of dumb. It was also short.
After the movie, we went home and just relaxed for a while. I fell in and out of sleep while watching some TV. Angela eventually woke me up because the boys and their friend were going to be coming over to watch a movie and have hot/veggie dogs for dinner. It was a nice night.
Let me say though, when my alarm clock rang at 6:00 this morning, I just didn't want to get up.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


Well, today is one dpo. I don't want to jinx anything, but i have a strong feeling that it didn't work this time. If it didn't, it's a bit of a bummer, but I can at least think of it as a practice to get us back into the swing of it. Things went pretty well. I just don't feel it though. I guess only time will tell.
I read on the Internet that if you are feeling like you don't have enough cervical mucous to get those swimmers to where they need to be, you can put a raw egg white "in there" to help the environment become more swimmer friendly. I am a little skeptical though, I'm not sure I'd want to be putting anything "in there" that really wasn't meant to be there. On the site I was reading, it had all these women's stories, stating how they had tried for blah blah amount of time, and then they did the egg white trick and it finally worked. There was however, one story about a fishy infection... So...
On a sad note, My good friend's father passed away suddenly on Monday night. He had a bad heart attack. I'm sending all my good thoughts and prayers to her and her whole family. It's just a terrible thing to have happen.
Angela and I love you Courtney.

Monday, July 6, 2009


it seems to be that time again... Insem time. I have been having insemination anxiety for a while now.. but it seems to have gotten worse now that the time has come.
I am so anxious about the timing. I have it set in my mind that the last time it worked because the timing was so awesome, and it just happens that the timing was forced due to things we couldn't control. This time, I am worried that we'll miss the window.
We inseminated last night.. and will again tonight. Yesterday, I had pink lines on my ovulation detector strip, but they weren't as dark as the control line.. today.. it was darker. I am thinking we should do one Tuesday as well.. Angela will be away all day Tuesday, so it will be complicated. I feel like Tuesday evening would be too late. At least we'll get tonight in after work at 11.