Sunday, August 24, 2014


My mom went to see her cancer doctor last week. She's been told that the "spot" that was noticed on her X-Ray is cancer. Cancer in her lung. The next step will be to determine what kind of cancer it is. They will need to know if it was an extension of the breast cancer, or if it is a new cancer that originated in her lung. She may have as little as 5 years to live depending what they find out. She may also live on for decades. We're hoping we find out it can be controlled.
They can't cure lung cancer.
She will be having some more tests done in the next little while.
I've had a mini breakdown. My mom means a lot to me and I can't even imagine not having her present in my life.
So much worry!

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Tuesday, August 19, 2014

2.5 days!

In 2.5 shifts I will begin my 13 day vacation. I'm really looking forward to it. We don't have much of anything planned and that feels good. We will be spending 3 nights in Ottawa. We were on the fence about that... To either spend the time and money on a vacation or on re-doing our bedroom. Well at the present moment, there is a promotion going on in Ottawa at many hotels. Third night stay is free. It's been so long since we've visited my best friend in Ottawa so we took advantage of the promotion. We'll have to paint and decorate our room another time. I have some great ideas for our room but it can wait.
We are also going to be hosting a sweet 16 party for my other good friend's daughter (yay! Staycation yard getting used) and then a rib fest - birthday party for my sister-in- law!
With the last couple of days being gorgeous weather I've been a little sad that we didn't do a camping vacation this year. There's always next year I guess.

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Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Update ...

Ok so I'm a slacker in blog land. Shoot me. I just haven't felt up to it. It all began with the kitchen renovation ... (I still need to take pictures of the finished kitchen). Everything has been haywire since.

Maizey has had some regression with her potty training. She was fully trained in December last year except for a few accidents at night while sleeping, then right at the time the renovation (May) started, she began peeing her pants... All the time! She still continues to have regular accidents. We did have her checked by the doctor and she had high levels of protein in her urine, so we were sent for ultrasounds. They came back completely normal. It's weird. She is just refusing to use the potty a lot of the time. We can clearly tell when she needs to go, and she holds it for as long as possible then just pees herself. Not every time, not every day. She has good days and bad days. It's so frustrating.

My mom has been staying with us for a week now because she has pneumonia. She lives in a multi level home with no air conditioning so it's much better for her to just stay with us. The doctor wants her to go for a CT scan because the lung X-Ray at the hospital shows something that they couldn't tell what it was so they want a better image. I'm terrified it's lung cancer. My mom was a smoker for all of her adult life, and she quit the September before Maizey was born.

We haven't been up to much this summer. We were hoping to have money left in our budget to buy a trailer... Ya that didn't happen. Not even close. So we'll keep the dream and move on. I'm a little bummed about how cool and wet this summer has been. We got our yard all stay-cation ready but haven't had much time to use it.

I'm all mixed up these days too. We haven't tried ttc in the past two months because my donor was away and had just returned at go time last month so I didn't want to pressure him. I really want to be ok with just Maizey and give up trying, but something keeps pulling me to keep trying. We are considering going back to Maizey's dad. It will be difficult because he has moved to Toronto for school for the next 2.5 years. Something in me is saying to just throw away the opk and just go with my instinct. Not be so paranoid, and scheduled.

My thoughts are scrambled up too. I keep having these moments of clarity and fog. Some days the easiest of tasks seems so complicated, daunting and I just don't know where to start, and other days everything seems just so clear and easy.

Work has been difficult as well. It's completely stressing me out these days. We've had a couple changes with the individuals we support, and now the dynamic of the house is mentally exhausting. Emotionally draining. It's hard.

My old cell phone conked out so I lost a lot of my pictures. I'm a little bummed out about that. I need someone to teach me iCloud.

A couple more weeks until vacation again. Usually I have something planned. Right now I'm contemplating either camping at one of our favourite provincial parks, staying a few nights in an Ottawa hotel and visiting my best friend or just staying home and using the time and money on re-doing our bedroom. I totally need a king sized bed ;).

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