Monday, July 13, 2009

Je ne sais quoi

So, today is 7 DPO. I am convinced now that the insemination didn't work. I have been driving myself nuts the last week just searching for symptoms. There were a few things that made me think that it had worked, AF like cramps, headache, exhaustion, cravings, nausea, hyper-smelling, mood swings, emotionality and weird dreams, but the thing that put me over the top in the didn't work direction is the fact that my nipples are not sore at all yet. By this time last time I had a BFP, My nipples were extremely sore. It's funny because it really wasn't that long ago that I had my first BFP, but now, it's like I can't remember how I felt at all. I know they say that symptoms can vary from woman to woman and even from pregnancy to pregnancy, but I just feel like I am searching too hard and that any little thing to me is a symptom. I do remember "just knowing" last time, and sometimes I get that feeling, but then I can't remember if it is authentic, or the feeling I had with every other BFN, just a hopeful feeling. One week to go and we'll know for the absolute. I have however given it over to the natural unfolding of my life. If it was meant to happen this time, It would, and if not, we'll just keep trying. It's OK.
We had a pretty busy weekend this weekend.
Friday - Angela and I went to our friend's father's funeral. It was a nice service. After it was over we went to my friend's mom's house and just sat around talking and things. It was really one of the nicest afternoons I have had in a long time.
Saturday - Was the boys' wedding reception. It was very small and intimate, but very nice. I must say however, that nothing is without silent drama. ;) After the reception was over, we went out with some other friends to a bar downtown, where there was feces on the floor of the bathroom because the toilet had overflowed. SICK.. I am gagging just thinking about it. We got home pretty late that night (3:00am) and today, I am suffering because of it.
Sunday - We went with our friends to see "Bruno". I have to say that some parts were funny, and there were some surprisingly big names who ended up showing up at the end of the movie, but most of it was kind of dumb. It was also short.
After the movie, we went home and just relaxed for a while. I fell in and out of sleep while watching some TV. Angela eventually woke me up because the boys and their friend were going to be coming over to watch a movie and have hot/veggie dogs for dinner. It was a nice night.
Let me say though, when my alarm clock rang at 6:00 this morning, I just didn't want to get up.

No comments: