Sunday, June 17, 2012


My mom is still in the hospital. She is still waiting for her fistula to heal. From the sound of things, it's almost healed. I miss my mom. An hour every day in a hospital room is just not the same as having your mom around. It makes me sad to see her so discouraged and to see her wasting away to skin and bones because she hasn't been eating real food for the past 6 weeks. It really really bothers me. I'm hoping she will be released soon.

Maizey spent the whole day with her daddy and her papa today. I missed her so much all day. Sometimes it's hard to believe she's mine! She just brings so much happiness and love and laughter. I sometimes contemplate having another child. I would really like to but I worry about taking away from Maizey.
I mean, I cried for days after she was born for the dogs because now they would have to share the attention. (I blame PPD for most of it) but will I go through that with Maizey. I watched my nephews heart break with jealousy the first time my sister in law picked maizey up and again, cried for days that he had to feel that way. Will I ever be able to stand it to see Mai hurt like that no matter how brief?
On the other hand, she loves being around other kids. Cousins , friends kids, the ghetto neighbours who are like 16 years old. She always wants to be around them. Maybe she would embrace a sibling.
I'm getting pretty excited about the upcoming cottage trip! We're all hoping it will be an annual event. I just love the idea of Mai growing up with such nice traditions.
My doctor has made a referral to an ophthalmologist for maizey as her left eye tends to turn out still. I have actually been noticing it more frequently lately. I'd really like to get that fixed ASAP.

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Saturday, June 2, 2012

More answers

A decision has been made. Mom will have surgery on Tuesday to repair her fistula. There is no guarantee that it will work, but they are going to try anyway. All her doctors agree that she can't live with that for the next 4 months. They will start her chemo 8 weeks after the surgery. That will keep her in the window of time that chemo needs to be started in.
My aunt is out of the ICU now, but seems to be suffering from PTSD and is not herself at all.
My dad bought a house in Northern Ontario on a lake and will be getting a float plane. Very exciting news. Angela and I are thinking we may have our wedding there if its possible.
Baby on the brain. Yes! It's time for a baby. My body is nagging at me to have another. Angela and I have decided that we will not TTC # 2 until we have moved out of where we live right now. We just don't want to raise children in our current neighbourhood. We are also considering changing doners. We are thinking about using Maizey's papa. He is married to our doner for maizey. He is very interested, but there is a lot to consider. He is different than maizey's dad in the way that he is more attached. We see this even with Maizey. He would need to sign the same agreement we have with doner #1 and he's articulated that he's not sure he could. We will hopefully be sitting down together soon to discuss all of the details.
3 weeks today I will be heading out to the cottage! Very exciting ! We went the same week two years ago and the weather sucked, so I am hoping this year is nicer. I wouldn't have even worried about this last week, but it has been on my mind because it has rained the past two days.

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