Monday, May 25, 2009

Home again Home agan...

We just got home from the weekend in Port Loring. It was very nice and relaxing. The ride up took just about 7 hours. That's including stopping to drop the dogs off at Angela's parents house, one stop so that the boys' dog could go potties... and we could get gas, and one traffic issue when a moose decided to jump through the windshield of a small pickup truck.
The cottage was very nice. Right on the water.
Angela and I went for a canoe ride on Saturday. That was nice, except for the black flies that were making a meal of us.
We watched a scary movie at night... cooked, sunned, and just relaxed.
We saw another moose on the side of the road on the way home, but it was alive and just standing in a marshy area.
Definitely worth the drive.
We'll be going back in another 3 or 4 weeks for S and Mt's wedding. They are getting married in front of the water at sunset. It's going to be very nice. We had steak and corn and baked potatoes the first night. The boys are vegetarian so they had meatless sausage.
This is Hummy or Hummina, I'm not sure which. They have some humming birds that frequent the feeder. We got to watch 4 of them battle over who would be using the feeder.
This is S and I sunning on the deck on Saturday. It was really nice weather. I got some colour on my face. It probably won't stay though.
This is S after the tinfoil issue. It was windy out and he lost control of all the roll!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Away Again!

The truth in the matter is that once nice weather arrives, nobody wants to stay put. This weekend we are off to Port Loring to visit with our good friends. MT and S. The donor. We get a nice long weekend in their family cottage. I hope this weather holds out for us.
We are planning on leaving around 5pm when Angela gets home from work. I again am in charge of the packing etc. I don't mind. I am currently doing one last load of Laundry. I should probably clean the house too so that we can come home to a nice clean place but i have Tuesday off too, so I will just do it then.
We should arrive at the cottage around 11 or so. We do have to make one pit stop at Angela's parents house to drop off the doggies. They aren't big fans of the long car rides... so we don't put them through that unless its for more than a week vacation.
Yesterday, I got a letter of sympathy for Angela and I from the midwives in the mail. IT also included a booklet from the Sunny*brook health sciences centre. "Silent Grief". It was very helpful.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Pictures as Promised

Ok.. as promised, here are some pictures from our weekend.
We had a great time. We showed up at our friends place at about 7:30 or so. The drive was good, only I thought I was getting a UTI because I had to pee so often and then when I would make Ange pull over at all the rest stops to let me, I would hardly go at all.
It turned out that I didn't have a UTI. Not sure what was up. I drank some organic cranberry juice just in case.
So, when we arrived, we dumped our bags in the front hall, totally unlike us, we usually put them in "our" room right away... but no. We must have been too excited to see our good friends to do that, and had to get right down to the hanging out and talking... We tried to stay up late, but it wasn't that successful. We went to bed around 1am. I guess we were all tired from our long days. When Angela and I finally got to "our" room, there was two chocolate bars and a card waiting for us on the bed. We have the most thoughtful friends in all the world.
The card was about mourning and loss etc. The commercial message in the card was beautiful, but what made me really cry, was the personal message they had written in. Again, I am so lucky to be so loved by my friends.

This is a picture of M, our good friend and the next one is Angela and I on our way to Leamington.

Once we were in Leamington, we were welcomed by my friends' family. They have to be some of the nicest people on earth. We hung around a while, then M and I went shopping for a few items, for the huge dinner that was planned for the holiday weekend.
We had a fantastic meal, and some wine, there was a plethera of desserts to choose from. Once the food was put away, we got prepared for the fireworks and a camp fire. It was fantastic. M and I ended up staying up until 4am that night because a freind of hers showed up just as we had all planned to go to bed. I joined the conversation with full intentions to just meet the fellow, and then go to bed, but the conversation was too good, and I got sucked right in. On my way down to the bedroom we were staying in, I ran into C (m's partner) who had decided that it wasn't possible to sleep in the same room as Angela and I because Angela snores too loud. I don't blame her, Angela does snore loud. I'm used to it.
Monday we packed up, and C and M drove us back to London, and Angela and I continued on our way home to St. Catharines.
But wait....
My story is not over. I saved the best part for last.
Saturday night we stayed in, had some dinner and some drinks and just sat around. We rented a couple of movies to watch and had a cozy night at home. Well M got talked into pulling out her "glamor shots" she had done when she was in high school. They were something else let me tell you. Gotta love glamor shots. But the best part was when C had had a little too much to drink, and decided to go upstairs, dress up, put on makeup and come back down to strut her stuff and show us her best glamor shot poses. I don't think I have laughed so much in my entire life. Here is glamorous C in all her glory. Simply Devine!
I just couldn't resist this picture of Cookie. she's so cute... caught with her tongue out.

We're Back

That was the best weekend I have had in a long time.
Thanks Ladies!

Ange and I are back from our wonderful long weekend away. I have some pictures to share. Last night I was too tired to do anything, so I figured I would do it all later today. I am at work now, so I can't upload any pictures... I will have to do it all later. Stay tuned.
Has anyone ever heard of "glamor shots"?? I have something special to post about. LOL... :)

Friday, May 15, 2009

Today, We're going

We're both working today. I am a 7-3, and Angela is an 8-5. We are leaving for London tonight as soon as Ange gets home from work tonight. I will pack and all that stuff when I get home from work.
I am really looking forward to this weekend. It'll be nice to just get away.
Every now and then, I think about things, and I just get all upset. I feel guilty for getting upset. I shouldn't.
Things in my nether regions seem to have calmed down. Minimal cramping. I took it upon myself to start taking my Metformin again. I need to have a conversation with my Dr. I have read on different boards, that women who have stopped taking Metformin during the first Tri, have lost babies. My Dr. told me to stop taking it, and I specifically asked if that would make it any more likely for me to have a miscarriage, and he told me No, and dismissed the question. I have heard that it is usually recommended that women take it for at least the first tri, if not longer. And that women who have taken it the entire pregnancy, have had no negative effects on the baby.
Anyone else on Metformin to help with TTC? what has your RE or Dr told you about staying on it for the pregnancy?
I'll post some pictures next week from our weekend.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Some Pictures Coming soon.

First, I promise to take some pictures of the house next time it is clean. lol. Angela has been working on the yard, we need to plant some grass. Currently we have a mud pit.
My fire-man friend bought me a BBQ just because he said he would if he got on as a fire-man somewhere, and he did! Congrats Craig! We miss you here.
The bbq has some issues. We are going to take it back. We have bbq'd maybe 4 times on it and well.. one of the leads that sends gas to the actual burner isn't right, flames shoot up from between the bbq part and the part with the knobs on it. IT must be a Fireman's BBQ because we need one every time we use it.
This weekend coming up we are going to visit some friends in London ON. It is a long weekend for Canada. Victoria Day weekend. We get fire works. Our friends in London have invited us to attend their families annual fireworks display on Sunday night. Lucky for us, we have a "fireworks" setting on our new camera. So we get to test that out.. so much fun. Then the next weekend, we get to go to our Donor "S" and his partner (s00n to be legally married) "M"'s family cottage up north. I am really looking forward to it. They were both sad about the news, "S" is so sweet, he brought me cheesecake from "the" (my absolute favourite) and said, "We can keep trying... it's free". (men :S)
I will see if they don't mind if we post some pics of them on the blog from the weekend up north. Just hoping it is a beautiful weekend.
I just feel so lucky to have such good friends. Everyone has just been so supportive and just making sure that we have everything we need, and such. I keep getting texts, from different people who just want us to know they are thinking of us and that if we need anything at all, they are here for us.
OK, I better go to bed, I have to work in the morning after all. I have a feeling that I will be posting more often, I just feel like I have a lot to say right now. Maybe it's just how I occupy my mind at this time.


The Midwife called me about an hour and a half after my ultrasound. I would first like to say that whoever invented ultrasounds with a full bladder is cruel. That was my first ultrasound ever, and wow... I have never felt that pain of holding urine so badly in my life.

So it is confirmed, we did indeed have a miscarriage. The midwife said that the tissue etc that was expelled on Sunday was the baby. Ang and I are happy to have the final news. We still feel a great loss, but have come to terms with the fact that the baby was not healthy, or developing properly.

We have been given the ok to start trying again as sooner or as later as we want. It is suggested that we wait at least one normal cycle, before we try again. But that all looks healthy in my uterus, and that's more than we knew last time we tried.

We will make an appointment with my family doctor to discuss my medication. I am assuming that I will need to go back on my metformin. I will also ask that when I get pregnant again, if I can please have some closer monitoring of things, earlier ultrasound, monitoring of my hormone levels etc.

I can't help but worry that this will happen every time I get pregnant, even if they say that it is still only as likely to happen as if I had never had a miscarriage. Always a 20% chance.

I'll be back to work tomorrow morning.
Thanks everyone for all the support.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Not so Happy Mother's Day

Bad News, we are 99.8% sure that I had a miscarriage yesterday. Honestly. I don't really know what to say. We are upset, sad, confused, angry etc etc....
So I woke up in the morning with some blood in my undies. I went to work anyway, knowing that sometimes people get a bit of bleeding.. I was keeping my thoughts positive. I called our midwife on-call and she said that sometimes that happens in pregnancy and that there wasn't much we could do and that we would have to wait until today to have an ultrasound to see what was going on in there. She advised me that if I began to hemorrhage, that I should go to the ER.
Later in the day, I felt a large 'gush', I went to the bathroom anticipating a large amount of blood in my pad, but all there was was clear liquid. I called the midwife back, she said, it could be urine (i knew I didn't pee myself, I can tell the difference between peeing and something coming out of my vagina) or a very liquid mucous, or it could be amniotic fluid. But again, we would have to wait until Monday (today) for an ultrasound. I became very upset at this point, and decided to come home from work. Once at home, I felt another Large gush. I went to the bathroom expecting some more clear liquid, but nope... it wasn't. It was a large fleshy tissue thingy. Just sitting there in my undies. I looked at Ang, (she came home from work to meet me) and she looked at me and I was in shock. She was in shock. I said.. "it's the baby". And we both began to cry. Called the midwife back to tell her the latest. She said that it sounds as though I have just had a miscarriage, and that we would do an ultrasound ASAP to see whats going on etc. She advised that I could stay home and in bed as I would be more comfortable but if I was to hemorrhage, I was to go directly to the ER. Well, Today... there was no ultrasound. I have to wait until tomorrow. at 1pm. Sometimes Canadian health system sucks a bit.. just for the waiting business.
Today, I have had minor bleeding, and some medium cramping. I am numb I guess. I don't know what to feel. It's weird. Everything is weird.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

I'm getting to be rather boring.

I just thought I would post a small little post just to say Hi. I don't think I have anything important to post about today, or anything all that interesting, but, again, you never know what will come of a bit of nothing.
Yesterday was my 32 birthday. Angela and I asked everyone we know for Future*Shop gift certificates so that we could get a new camera. Our old one is ok, but we wanted one with a little bit of a better quality for when baby comes. We aren't big photographers, but it will be nice to have a nicer camera. We ended up going tonight to get one. We didn't quite cover the whole expense on gift cards, so we put the rest on our Future*Shop credit card. It's 3 months no interest, and we'll have no problem paying that amount off in the next 3 months. So the one we got is this one. I think it will do the job. I hope. We got it now so that we can figure out what we're doing when we use it. Also we have a couple weddings and small vacations coming up this month, so it will be nice to have it for those as well.
Hopefully this means that you will be seeing a lot more pictures on this blog. :)
Well.. that's about it for me right now. I can't wait to try out the new camera! yay!!

Friday, May 1, 2009


Finally Friday! This week has felt particularly long. I don't know why. I haven't had to work more than 3 days in a row without a day off in between. Maybe I have just been looking forward to this weekend.
Some friends and I are going out for dinner tomorrow to celebrate my 32 birthday. My birthday isn't actually until Wednesday next week, but weekends are always better for celebrating. Besides, I have to work on Wednesday afternoon next week.
So, tomorrow is week 10. I'm telling you, time is going by slowly, but at the same time, it is quickly I guess. There are a bunch of things Angela and I wanted to get accomplished before we go away in may (weekend after Victoria Day weekend, to a friend's cottage), but none of it is getting done. For example, we really wanted to have our new vehicle by then. My car's (2005 Pontiac Vibe) lease is coming to an end this summer, so we were looking at getting a Pontiac Montana (I have to buy GM, I come from a big GM family) I use to make fun of people who had a van for just one child, but I figure if we ever go anywhere with a baby and two dogs, we will need the space, so it just makes more sense to us. Well we've been casually looking at vans but haven't decided on anything yet. We aren't sure what to do really. We wanted to buy used, because the payment would be lower than if we got a new car, but currently it seems, the two 2007 models we are looking at cost around $13 000.00, but there is a promotion on right now for brand new 2009 model for about $15 500.00. Plus it comes with free stuff.. like onstar and satellite radio.
Yesterday we saw a 2005 Model (2005 is as old as we would go) for $9000.00. I am thinking we might look at that one because the payments on that would be soooo much less. We are wanting to have low payments, just because we are unsure of how we are going to deal with the cut in income during mat leave. My company gives a top up for a certain amount of weeks, but not for the whole time, so we will be having to live on a significantly lower income. It's scary.
I think we are going to go look tomorrow at some more, it is hard to find a time when we are both available.