Monday, May 11, 2009

Not so Happy Mother's Day

Bad News, we are 99.8% sure that I had a miscarriage yesterday. Honestly. I don't really know what to say. We are upset, sad, confused, angry etc etc....
So I woke up in the morning with some blood in my undies. I went to work anyway, knowing that sometimes people get a bit of bleeding.. I was keeping my thoughts positive. I called our midwife on-call and she said that sometimes that happens in pregnancy and that there wasn't much we could do and that we would have to wait until today to have an ultrasound to see what was going on in there. She advised me that if I began to hemorrhage, that I should go to the ER.
Later in the day, I felt a large 'gush', I went to the bathroom anticipating a large amount of blood in my pad, but all there was was clear liquid. I called the midwife back, she said, it could be urine (i knew I didn't pee myself, I can tell the difference between peeing and something coming out of my vagina) or a very liquid mucous, or it could be amniotic fluid. But again, we would have to wait until Monday (today) for an ultrasound. I became very upset at this point, and decided to come home from work. Once at home, I felt another Large gush. I went to the bathroom expecting some more clear liquid, but nope... it wasn't. It was a large fleshy tissue thingy. Just sitting there in my undies. I looked at Ang, (she came home from work to meet me) and she looked at me and I was in shock. She was in shock. I said.. "it's the baby". And we both began to cry. Called the midwife back to tell her the latest. She said that it sounds as though I have just had a miscarriage, and that we would do an ultrasound ASAP to see whats going on etc. She advised that I could stay home and in bed as I would be more comfortable but if I was to hemorrhage, I was to go directly to the ER. Well, Today... there was no ultrasound. I have to wait until tomorrow. at 1pm. Sometimes Canadian health system sucks a bit.. just for the waiting business.
Today, I have had minor bleeding, and some medium cramping. I am numb I guess. I don't know what to feel. It's weird. Everything is weird.


joesanchez said...
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Teaberry said...

I'm so sorry to hear this... Ugh, I don't feel that a comment box on a blog is a good enough place to express my sadness for you two.... Please know that you're in my thoughts. I'm so sorry.

Heidi said...

Oh girls. This is so unfair. I'll keep you close to my heart now and in the days to come.

love and hugs