Recently, I blogged briefly about some drama in our lives. I'm happy to say that the drama is over. I'm not happy that we've lost some friends, but it really is what is best for everyone involved. The friendship was broken for a long time, and well, I was too afraid to say anything. I kept ignoring the bad parts, and the flaws and faults of my friends, as I am sure they did ours as well, in hopes that the good would continue to shine through. As time went on, the good got fewer and the bad-well, it became the focus.
I can only give my side of the story, and so, won't be sharing much of what occurred, as it is unfair.
I do have to say though, it really bothers me that these friends, continue to hold onto their perspective that they are completely innocent in all of the break down. It bothers me that I am the kind of person who wouldn't tell them what they did that hurt me. It bothers me that they can't see past their self righteousness, to admit that half of the things if not more than that, that these friends accuse us of, they themselves were too blind to see themselves doing the very same. (one small example- Angela was upset when she was not asked to hold a significant role in this particular friend's wedding, this friend proceeded to point out that was selfish of Angela and that HER wedding was not about Angela. When we had our miscarriage, this very same friend expressed her upset in the fact that Angela never asked her to come and be with us during a difficult time, making it about her own feelings, instead of supporting Angela the way she needed. Is this not human nature? to want to feel included and important?) It bothers me that they will forever deny this, because their ego is too big to allow them to admit that they are not perfect either.
Maybe Angela and I are not 100% innocent in this falling out, but we are not 100% of the problem either. We at least we're willing to talk about it, and take responsibility for what we had done to wrong them or hurt their feelings.
I will mourn the loss of what I wanted these people to be for us, but will not mourn what we have actually lost. With that being said, I will miss the fun and the good times we did have. As I said before, this is better for everyone.