Wednesday, July 7, 2010

UGH!!

So, Angela told her very european parents last night about the baby. She basically told them that I am pregnant. (Her mom knew I had been pregnant before but lost the baby, at that time they established that I had no boyfriend and had been "injected" to become pregnant). The mom asked if I had been injected again, and Angela told them that there were no doctors and that I had done it with the help of a male friend. Her mom, so funny, said.. "oh she put the syringe in her vagina?". Lol.. Now that they got the technicalities down, Ang went on to further tell them that she was going to be adopting the baby, and that she would be known as one of the mom's. They, said that was nice, but there is nothing like having a biological child, and Angela explained that is not something she desired at this time. She told them about the possibility of naming a boy after her father and he was excited about that. Her mom wanted her to name it after her father (Angela's grandfather). They went on to talk about how these were different times now, and how it's Angela's life to do what she wishes. Ok.. smooth sailing. WAY better than expected. She decided at that moment to tell them also, that things would just be much easier if she got married. Ok.. in comes the storm.
Mom said "married to who?"
Angela "Karen"
Mom "if you do, you will no longer be my daughter.. thats not right etc etc...."
Angela "mom, you are ok about all the baby stuff but not a marriage? what is the difference, what does that change?"
Mom "(no answer)"
Angela leaves the house to give her parents time to think about things... Dad follows Angela out and tells her
"you shouldn't have told her that, you should have just gone and got married in secret and not told us".
Angela explains how she was raised to be honest with her parents and this is her life and she didn't want to hide it from them anymore. And that had she gone and got married and not told them, they would be mad at her, and if she told them, they're mad at her.. so she can't win.
Dad Agrees.
Angela gets some wild crazy texts from her older sister.
Her sister thinks that mom's health is more important that this information and that Angela shouldn't have told her this.
The sister says she will accept that Angela and I are in a relationship, but that she will never recognise or respect us as a "married" couple.
Oh the Drama.
I'll keep you updated.

****updated

Angela has a family dinner tonight so she called her mom to make sure she is still welcome. She is... But I am no longer welcome at their house. This has made me more sad than I ever thought it would.

5 comments:

Just Another Jenny said...

I wish I had something useful to say.

But all that really comes to my mind is, "well, this really f%cking blows" -- which, I know -- is the understatement of the year.

I'm so sorry they are total boneheads. I hope they will come around.

bellygirls said...

Wow! This was my life once upon a time!

My dad is a pastor in the baptist church and wouldn't allow my partners to enter his house - even though I was still welcome.

It was for this reason that my dad and I stopped seeing eachother and stopped speaking altogether. This was 10 years ago.

About 6 years ago, I started talking to him again and I never hid Holly or who I was from him.

About 4 years ago, I asked him to go to my wedding. He didn't go.
But I was so happy that I told him rather than just did it and not told him.

Because his absence was his decision, not mine.

Getting married is a big deal. I think she did the right thing in telling them about it... even if they don't accept it.

It was 3 years ago that he finally accepted me and Holly as a married couple. I never held that back from him. I stayed true to who I was all along.

You two are creating your own family now and when that little one enters the world, things will change... even if it means protecting him/her from the backlash of homophobia.

I hope things change for the better and all becomes well with her family. Just stay true to yourselves and maybe they will come around. Good luck to you both.

Stacey said...

If I were her, I wouldn't go. But that's me. And what is it with siblings who think that nothing should be said and you should live a lie because it's easier that way? It's totally annoying.

With a child you will be out everywhere you go. Stay strong as a couple, get married and enjoy your life. As soon as that baby enters, your family unit will be far more important than your extended family anyway. Trust me.

Shannon said...

Wow. That is so awful. I'm really sorry. Like Stacey said, I'd stand by my partner and not go to the dinner. I know it's not easy, but with a baby coming, it's important to establish to everyone in your lives that you and the baby are her family and if you're not all welcome, then none of you go. It's one thing to go to a family dinner where your partner is not invited, but quite another to try to explain to a child in a few years why one parent is going to a family event while the other isn't invited... Once you have kids you're out to everyone and you won't want your kids to hear this kind of stuff about your family.

That being said, it's not easy. They're her family and that makes it really hard to make these kinds of decisions.

Teaberry said...

Oh, I am so sorry to hear that last bit... I hope that they will come around when the baby arrives! But, I am so sorry they did that to you!