Thursday, July 8, 2010

Update ...

So, Angela went to her mom and dad's for the family dinner. Mom proceeded to act as though nothing had been said the previous day.
Weird thing... Before Angela shared our news with them, there was talk of them moving to our city and purchasing a home here. We were going to share this home as her parents are unable to do things such as yardwork and also need help with a lot of things due to their illnesses and dissabilities. For example when mom is sick and hospitalized, dad does not know how to do laundry etc. So if they were to live in an inlaw suite where we lived we could do all of these tasks, while benefiting from a nicer home in a better neighbourhood. We would also pay the mortgage payment while they pay utilities only thus saving them money as dad is no longer able to work due to his poor knees. Well the talk was that they would come this Sunday to have a look to see the luxeries their budget could afford them here. I guess that talk continued last night (after I was banned from their home) and mom was rather upset with dad for inviting cousins over on Sunday as she wanted to look at homes. ???? Does she realize that me and our child will be living there too?

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Stacey said...

I think Angela needs to be very upfront with them and say, "How can we still purchase a home together when you have banned my partner from attending dinner at your current house?" I think she needs to step up and not let them make the calls. Having a baby means making hard decisions and sometimes telling family what they don't want to hear. Her parents will always be important to her but now that she is having a baby, THAT is more important to her. She now has to put her child and family unit first. Maybe they don't want to hear it but if something isn't said now, it's only get more complicated. These things are much easier to establish in the beginning and also pave the way for life with your new baby. You don't want to be dealing with family drama once your child is born.

Shannon said...

I agree with what Stacey said 100%. I don't think there's any way you can live with her parents without creating all kinds of drama and tension in your relationship. Family stuff can be hard enough on a relationship without the addition of people being unsupportive AND being unsupportive in the same home as you guys and the baby.

How long have you guys been out to her family? It took our families a while to adjust to us being a couple but they're great about it now. It was a long process getting there, though. They reacted badly to the news that we were engaged and again reacted badly when we set a wedding date. But the wedding itself seemed to work wonders; everything got better after that. The first big news about us that all our parents reacted positively to was the news that we were having a baby. My parents treat our kids (my wife is the biological mom) the same as they would if I had given birth.

If Angela's parents haven't known for very long, they may still come around but until then I wouldn't be living with them.

Hopefully when the baby is born they'll fall in love with him or her immediately.