Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Friends

Is it me? Or does everyone have those friends that make them crazy? I've been talking to a friend of mine, the same one who witnessed the doner agreement for us for Maizey, about beginning the ttc process all over again. She has three kids and is over 40 but often talks about wanting one more baby. Her husband had a vasectomy. She now thinks that it'll be a great idea to use my doner to have another baby. Although in her mind, no one could ever know that she knows the doner, she would tell "the world" that she an her husband used an anonymous doner to conceive because a vas reversal was too expensive. She would not even tell the child and we all would have to pretend that my child and her child were not half siblings. Ok! Ummm no? Lucky for us, we would have to release our doner to allow for him to make donations to other families. It is stated in our agreement. We would have to provide a good reason not to release him, but I think this would qualify being as we are all actively a part if one another's lives. She seems to have gotten over the idea for the most part, but I still wonder where her thoughts come from. Really? She thinks that would be a good idea?
Anyway.. Kinda got off track.
This is supposed to be one of my best friends. Well every time I talk to her about ttc, I feel sick after. I feel hurt, betrayed an angry. She seems to be so against it. She keeps making reasons why I shouldn't start yet... I know she might not be particularly fond of the new doner, but really? Can't she just be happy for me? I casually texted her this afternoon about helping me come up with a plan for doing inseminations when the in laws are around and she said to me :

"I'm not coming up with any plan your the one who wants to inseminate earlier than later, good luck"

What?! Way to be a supportive and encouraging friend! So I went on to explain that if I wait for them to be in Portugal and after she and I take some of our clients from work to Cuba in December, I will be able to do 1 insemination in the next year. As they will be back from Portugal in January for an undetermined amount if time. And I get this:

"Ya so"

Umm I'm already 36 years old here people, I can't really take a casual approach to this. So I texted her this:

"Ya.. So I'll just not talk to you about it any more because I don't like how it makes me feel... "

No response from her as of yet, but I do know she's at the movies.

I think that part of the reason I'm finding it "hard" to be gay these days is because I don't really have any close lesbian friends. I have no one IRL to relate with.
Siiigggghhhhh


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2 comments:

Stacey Bourgeois said...

She sucks. No, really. I mean, so unsupportive and bitchy AND wanting to use your donor? What an asshole.

Seriously, come up to Toronto and hang out with us some time. We're a great group (or I like to think so) and always welcoming of more. We're doing a Pumpkin Patch together in October if you can come up...it'd be on a weekend.

Karen said...

I'd love to come up and join you guys for the pumpkin patch, hopefully it's not on the weekend that I work. That's what totally sucks- Ange and I work stupid shifts and its hard because that includes weekends.
We really enjoyed it the time we were able to join you for your pride BBQ, and although shy- we were comfortable. You are a great group!
My friend finally texted back to say the usual blah blah blah - if you're happy, I'm happy... But I just said back- clearly you're not and that's on you, I'm just not going to talk about it anymore.
Ugh!
I'm glad that I at least have the blogs to give me that sense of community. But, we do miss the interaction with families like ours.