Thursday, August 6, 2009


I think too much. Its not great.
So, I've been peeing on the OPK stick off and on for a while. Tuesday, I peed on one and the test line came up lighter than the control line, but darker than I expected at this point in my cycle. So, I warned my donor that his contribution may be needed sooner than expected as we had told him that Aug 9 or so would probably be the date we would start needing him. So, Tuesday night we decided that we would start doing the insemming Wednesday. I peed on the stick again Wed, and the test line was as dark as the control. We made a deposit. Tonight, I peed again and the line was again as dark as the control, we deposited again. We will once more tomorrow before we leave to go to our friends for the weekend (in fact we have postponed our departure time b/c the donor has to work until later than we wanted to leave). I have of course two worries this month. 1.) that I am getting false positives on my OPK. (the time I got pregnant, the test line was clearly darker than the control) and 2.) That my real darker line will come while we are away this weekend or not at all. I think I have planned things pretty well, as I will be having a deposit on Friday just before we go and then my donor will be available again on Sunday when we return. Going by the logic that the swim team can survive in there for 24-48+ hours, I should be covered for the time away with no deposit.
I know that I put way too much thought into this process, but I just can't help it. I am a paranoid type person. I analyze everything.
For example. I don't think I can possibly get pregnant unless everything is the same as the one time "it worked". I actually had the "twinges" that people talk about on my left ovary, I had cramping around ovulation time, spotting etc. My OPK was extremely dark.
I keep trying to tell myself that woman all over the world get pregnant and have no idea that they are ovulating, have no signs of it at all. But then, I counter that with the thought of "they probably aren't looking for signs".
I think I am going to think myself crazy.


Teaberry said...

a friend of mine once said that TTC was the 100% best way to make yourself go crazy, and she is 100% correct. Everything you just said has crossed my mind a million times before, and sounded so familiar.

I think, since you've got a fine shot, real OPK line or not, because, as you mentioned, the swim team can survive a while. So, as long as its there now when it "could be time" or this weekend when it "could be time" is good!

Good luck!

Loralou said...

Oh we are oh so similar! Good luck hunnys :)