Sunday, September 15, 2013

Weird coincidence?

I mentioned earlier that I've been having strange emotions surrounding being gay. I haven't really been able to put it into words to explain it. I did talk to a friend who isn't gay about it but she really couldn't understand what I was saying. Just didn't get it. I don't blame her because I didn't really get it either. I mean, it sounded to her like I was questioning my sexuality. I wasn't in any way. I mean, there is no doubt at all that I am so attracted to women and not at all to men. And you know what? That feels good and I'm happy with it. I love women! That's not the issue. The issue seems to be popping up every where. It seems a lot of lesbians are blogging the same issue, and thankfully, I can better understand myself because of it. It's hard to be gay. I'm sure it's easier now than it was before and hopefully in the future it will be just "normal". But right now, in my life, I am finding it hard. People judge based solely on sexual orientation, and that just makes me uncomfortable in my skin. Really, it's none of my business what someone else thinks of me, but still it bothers me. Despite the insight I've gained, I'm still finding it hard to describe where I'm coming from. I would say "I'm not proud" but that's not it either. I mean, I am proud of who I am and what I have and the life I live, but within that pride I envy how much easier it seems for all my women friends with husbands... I mean they don't have to worry about someone assuming they're gay, right? Not usually...
So it's hard. That's the best I got for now.


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3 comments:

countingchickens said...

I'd love to understand this better. You mentioned others are blogging about it too - any sites in particular?

Karen said...

http://sotohana.wordpress.com/

Karen said...

http://roleplayingwithkids.blogspot.ca/2013/09/growing-up-gay-in-straight-world.html?m=1