Wednesday, November 4, 2009

So Complicated

Do you think that I will ever win Lotto*Max? It is up to $50 million this week. Can you even imagine? I hate the lotto dreams. Just thinking about how many people you could surprise and do something nice for. I think though, if I were to win that much money, I would go broke. I am way to generous.

TMI right now ... this is your warning to stop reading if you can't handle it.

I have been getting the most amazing cervical mucous this week. Better than I've had in a long time. Only none of my OPK are coming up positive. Why does this have to be so frustrating and complicated. I just don't know what to do. Every time I vow to skip a month of trying, something happens to make it seem like this might not be a good month to skip. Quite honestly, I don't really know how often I "actually" ovulate. I mean.. sure I get signs that it has happened, and even opks that are as dark as the control, but the one time I got pregnant, the opk was way darker than the control and it was instant. So, maybe all the other times, it is just me being hopeful. But I can't help but think, I better try, just in case. I mean, if we were unfortunate enough to have to pay thousands of dollars each time we tried, we would probably be skipping a lot of cycles. We would probably also be being monitored more closely by the doctor.
I was supposed to see my dr. for blood tests to check to make sure that my hormones went back to normal after my miscarriage. Especially the HCG. the tests were ordered in August. It is NOVEMBER! I still haven't gone. Maybe I should do that... Maybe I'll call right now to book the tests. ..... ..... ..... That was a bust. I just called, but the office closes at noon on Wednesday. IT is now 12:05pm. I will try to call tomorrow I guess.
I suppose all I can do for now is just keep keepin on.
I am supposed to get the H1N1 flu shot. I am in a priority group because I work in a group home and I am a first responder. Maybe I'll go Friday. I don't want to have to stand in line for hours.
Hope all is well out there in blog world!

1 comment:

Stacey said...

I imagine you ovulate if you're surging. When they thought I wasn't going to ovulate during a cycle, I was not surging at all and my levels weren't rising. So if you're detecting a surge, I'd say you're ovulating. Now, just because you ovulate doesn't mean you'll get pregnant that cycle. The egg has to be good, the sperm has to find it, the sperm has to be good, they have to meet and divide, they have to attach to the lining...there are so many factors. As our doctor always put it, you might ovulate but only have 1 or 2 eggs a year that would actually be baby making material. You can't control those things. And for that reason, I would try not to skip a cycle because it might be *the* cycle. ;)

I know with pregnancy tests the darkness of the line doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean you're more pregnant. I wonder if it's the cycle with your OPK tests.