The neighbour kids were out drinking and horsing around in front of the house again this afternoon when I finally got home from work. I had to stay later today at the last minute as a favour to my manager. Lucky for me, we had already planned that Maizey's dad would pick her up from daycare today. Ange has been working 12 hr days again and we are thankful for the pick up in hours, but I am feeling a little tired and lonely again. I haven't been sleeping well at night, and much of the time I'm dragging through the days.
I guess I just need to get a night job lol;)
Mom finally got the results and as it turns out, she will need chemo. They will be doing it every two weeks for 8 rounds. This means she will likely be living with her fistula for at least 4 more months. On top of it all, she's having an allergic reaction to something and they can't figure out what! My poor mom. What an amazing woman to be dealing with all of this.
With all of this going on with my mom and aunt, I am reminded that life is too short and unpredictable to not be lived to the fullest.
I'm at a spot where I've run out of things to say. I know there is so much more inside but I can't sort it out well enough to even think it never mind blog.
I don't feel sorry for myself, I'm just spreading thin. I'm tired of everything being do negative and I am looking for the positives. Hopefully I can express them soon.
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Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Still Waiting
I have been so crazy busy these days with work, visiting mom, helping a friend move, hurricane Maizey and my dad visiting from china.
Mom had her mastectomy and all went well. We are still waiting to hear whether or not the cancer was in the surrounding tissue and lymph nodes. That will determine if she needs chemo and radiation or not. Once we know that we will have a better understanding of how they are planning to deal with the fistula. Mom is really getting tired of being in the hospital.
My aunt was flown from Florida to niagara falls on Friday. She is still in the ICU, but seems to be doing better. I've had her on my mind every day.
My dad and his wife were here briefly visiting. They are planning on moving back soon. My step-mom's planning on retiring in March. They will most likely end up in northern Ontario somewhere. I wish closer but they have always wanted to move to northern Ontario.
Maizey has been so funny these days. She talks nonstop and thinks she is the boss of everything. She loves being outside and cries when it is time to come in the house. She loves playing rough with other kids and has no fear. She's sporting many bumps and bruises as a consequence to that.
We've had domestic neighbor drama shows every day this week. I guess when the weather is good, they take it out side. It'S not only our one neighbor, but usually the same 5 places. It really is getting to be too much. Especially when I have finally fallen asleep and am awoken by the swearing and yelling.
I'm really looking forward to my vacations this summer!
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Mom had her mastectomy and all went well. We are still waiting to hear whether or not the cancer was in the surrounding tissue and lymph nodes. That will determine if she needs chemo and radiation or not. Once we know that we will have a better understanding of how they are planning to deal with the fistula. Mom is really getting tired of being in the hospital.
My aunt was flown from Florida to niagara falls on Friday. She is still in the ICU, but seems to be doing better. I've had her on my mind every day.
My dad and his wife were here briefly visiting. They are planning on moving back soon. My step-mom's planning on retiring in March. They will most likely end up in northern Ontario somewhere. I wish closer but they have always wanted to move to northern Ontario.
Maizey has been so funny these days. She talks nonstop and thinks she is the boss of everything. She loves being outside and cries when it is time to come in the house. She loves playing rough with other kids and has no fear. She's sporting many bumps and bruises as a consequence to that.
We've had domestic neighbor drama shows every day this week. I guess when the weather is good, they take it out side. It'S not only our one neighbor, but usually the same 5 places. It really is getting to be too much. Especially when I have finally fallen asleep and am awoken by the swearing and yelling.
I'm really looking forward to my vacations this summer!
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Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Debbie Downer
Unfortunately I am a Debbie Downer tonight. All I have is sad news updates all around.
My mom is scheduled for a mastectomy tomorrow. They are removing the whole breast. They are however optimistic, that she likely won't need chemo or radiation at all after that. Lets hope not because she will probably need a surgery to fix her fistula. They are talking about removing more of her small intestine, as well as the hernia that she has in there causing the fistula.
On top of that, I just got off the phone with my dad. My aunt who is in Florida on a vacation got into a boating accident and broke her neck. She was on life support for a while, and now is doing better. She had a surgery today to remove some of her vertibrae and put in a steel plate. She isn't paralized, and they are hoping to have her up on her feet tomorrow. She is stuck in Florida for a while, we are unsure when she will be able to return. I guess she is having some trouble with her travel insurance coverage company.
We made an offer on the house last week with the condition of sale on Angela's dad's house. They accepted it with their own conditions. One was that they could continue to recieve offers and that if they accepted another offer, we would have 48 hours to remove our conditions to continue with the sale. Well they recieved another offer that they accepted, and Angela's dad does not want to remove the condition of sale on his house, so we will not be getting that home. I am not as torn up about it as I thought I would be. At the same time though, there really isn't much out there in our price range that we want to look at. We went and saw two more yesterday. One was across the street from the house I grew up in. It was a total dump. It had half assed renovations everywhere that were all incomplete. It just was not very nice at all, it kind of gave me the creeps. There was an electrical panel in the bathroom... just open there. The tiles were all jagged edged, like someone didn't know what they were doing when they cut them. It was just weird. The other was the complete opposite. It was beautifully done. The problem was that it was too small, and it had no door to the back yard. Just a side door. It is important to me to have a door to the back area, so that if we have a pool and a bbq etc, we can have easy access. The ideal place would have a door from the kitchen/dining area to the back deck/patio. That would be heaven.
There was another house that we wanted to view, but I guess it had an offer, and stopped all showing of the house unless the offer fell through.
There are very few other houses on our list that we would like to see. In part we want to just wait until Ang's dad's house sells before we even look at another place, but we also want to have an idea of what is out there.
I'm having a hard time concentrating on things these days. I am having a hard time keeping up with life. I am having a hard time sleeping at night, mostly tossing and turning. I guess there is just a lot going on that I am trying to keep sorted out in my mind. It's a crazy time.
I do however have my little girl. She is just doing things to amaze me more each day. I don't think I have ever seen an 18 month old talk so much. She is a little dare devil. My most favorite thing she does is take my glasses off and then kiss me. lol. Too cute. Yesterday she was sitting on the dog's back and "reading a book". The poor little dogs... they are so tolerant.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Friday, April 27, 2012
Update
We found the house that feels like home. It's in a good neighbourhood, it has everything we need (except a pool, but we could easily put one in a yard that size. It's the right price! We love it. Angela's dad is hopefully coming down on Tuesday of next week to view it and possibly make a conditional offer. One small problem - our furniture won't match the pink carpeting! Yuck! That's ok because there is hardwood under there, wouldn't be too expensive to re-finish it. I'm excited about this place and so is Angela! First time we've agreed on a house about everything. It even has a fire place! Move in ready!
On the shitty side of news, my mom's in the hospital again. They are eexploring her bowel issues and most likely going to perform the surgery on her breast cancer.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Curve Ball
Will it ever just let up? The demands of life I mean. Can't she just catch a break? My mom I mean. I've been busy with my mom lately. She had her physical in March. They had to investigate several suspicious things. One of them was a lump in her breast. She had a mammogram, and a biopsy to reveal she has breast cancer. She is scheduled for a MRI next week for that, so that the surgeon can determine what she is working with when she goes in to remove the cancer. We will have to wait, I suppose, to find out if she will be needing any Chemo therapy after the cancer is removed.
As if that's not enough, she had a CT scan of her abdomen as well, if you remember, she had her large intestines removed last January (11), because she had colitis and had a bowel obstruction, slight perforation of her bowels and some gangrenous lesions as well as some cancer in there. They just wanted to follow up and check out that things were as should be in there. Well, they aren't. Of course not. The doctor now suspects that she was misdiagnosed, and that she actually has Crohn's disease which affects much more of your digestive tract than Colitis does. The CT scan revealed that she had "something going on in there". They couldn't tell from the CT exactly, so they have sent her today for a MRI of that area. They had initially suspected what they were seeing was another obstruction or a hernia. Well a few days after her CT, she developed a HUGE abscess on her abdomen. The doctor had to lance it last Monday. It drained massive amounts of yuck! Now, it seems, it isn't just an abscess. Mom and I were into the emergency room at the General Hospital on Friday evening because out of the lance site, there was feces being excreted. The same as out of her stoma site. (area where her intestine was brought to the surface of her skin, to attach the ostomy bag) Well the doctor there highly suspects, that this is now a fistula. A fistula is a tunnel through her abdomen from her small intestine to the surface of her skin.
Keeping this under control is almost impossible. She is really getting frustrated. She is bandaging the fistula with gauze and tape, but the problem with that is, that there is a large volume of Yuck expelling, and it leaks, it leaks onto the adhesive for her ostomy appliance, and then that becomes compromised and leaks. She is spending an hour at a time fixing this and re-applying, changing appliances, and they are expensive. The appliance is approximately $20 each. (Not covered by benefits). Well at once point she was changing it up to 3 times a day.
We think we have figured out a way to patch her up for at least 24 hrs at a time. She does however have to change her gauze frequently.
She's frustrated, and I am frustrated. No medical professional has offered any solution to this. There is "nothing you can do, but wait for it to heal" is what we have been told.
That wasn't good enough for me, so I did some research on the Internet last night. Apparently a "Wound care nurse" can apply a emptyable bag apparatus to the fistula, and they can last up to 7 days, without leaking. I will be seeing my mom a little later in the afternoon today, and I am going to insist that she request a wound care nurse to visit with these specific wound draining bags .. made specifically for fistulas. At least there is a light.
This is a lot of stress. My mom had never handled stress very well, and I am very worried about her emotional well being and health.
Honestly, I would never let on, but I am getting exhausted too.
On a lighter side. We had a fabulous Easter. My best friend, her son, Angela, Maizey and I all went to a local farm to do some Easter activities. They had an Egg hunt, Egg painting, Hay rides, Pony rides, and Pictures with baby bunnies!!! it was just enough excitement for the kids.
Another few exciting pieces of news are that we have booked a couple vacations. We will be going to Maizey's dad and papa's cottage at the end of June, and camping at Sandbanks provincial park again in August.
Here is our exact campsite for August! we are very excited!
We will be camping in Killbear provincial park in July. We have decided not to buy a camper yet. We are going to wait until we can purchase it quicker. Maybe finance for 3 years or 5 at the most. This year we will simply buy a larger tent. The one we are looking at is huge. It sleeps 11 people, has 3 rooms, and a built in battery operated lighting system, and fan. I have read some great reviews about it. It should provide the space we need. We can also borrow my brother's utility trailer if we need to have more area for packing things to go. We are very comfortable with this decision.
As if that's not enough, she had a CT scan of her abdomen as well, if you remember, she had her large intestines removed last January (11), because she had colitis and had a bowel obstruction, slight perforation of her bowels and some gangrenous lesions as well as some cancer in there. They just wanted to follow up and check out that things were as should be in there. Well, they aren't. Of course not. The doctor now suspects that she was misdiagnosed, and that she actually has Crohn's disease which affects much more of your digestive tract than Colitis does. The CT scan revealed that she had "something going on in there". They couldn't tell from the CT exactly, so they have sent her today for a MRI of that area. They had initially suspected what they were seeing was another obstruction or a hernia. Well a few days after her CT, she developed a HUGE abscess on her abdomen. The doctor had to lance it last Monday. It drained massive amounts of yuck! Now, it seems, it isn't just an abscess. Mom and I were into the emergency room at the General Hospital on Friday evening because out of the lance site, there was feces being excreted. The same as out of her stoma site. (area where her intestine was brought to the surface of her skin, to attach the ostomy bag) Well the doctor there highly suspects, that this is now a fistula. A fistula is a tunnel through her abdomen from her small intestine to the surface of her skin.
Keeping this under control is almost impossible. She is really getting frustrated. She is bandaging the fistula with gauze and tape, but the problem with that is, that there is a large volume of Yuck expelling, and it leaks, it leaks onto the adhesive for her ostomy appliance, and then that becomes compromised and leaks. She is spending an hour at a time fixing this and re-applying, changing appliances, and they are expensive. The appliance is approximately $20 each. (Not covered by benefits). Well at once point she was changing it up to 3 times a day.
We think we have figured out a way to patch her up for at least 24 hrs at a time. She does however have to change her gauze frequently.
She's frustrated, and I am frustrated. No medical professional has offered any solution to this. There is "nothing you can do, but wait for it to heal" is what we have been told.
That wasn't good enough for me, so I did some research on the Internet last night. Apparently a "Wound care nurse" can apply a emptyable bag apparatus to the fistula, and they can last up to 7 days, without leaking. I will be seeing my mom a little later in the afternoon today, and I am going to insist that she request a wound care nurse to visit with these specific wound draining bags .. made specifically for fistulas. At least there is a light.
This is a lot of stress. My mom had never handled stress very well, and I am very worried about her emotional well being and health.
Honestly, I would never let on, but I am getting exhausted too.
On a lighter side. We had a fabulous Easter. My best friend, her son, Angela, Maizey and I all went to a local farm to do some Easter activities. They had an Egg hunt, Egg painting, Hay rides, Pony rides, and Pictures with baby bunnies!!! it was just enough excitement for the kids.
Another few exciting pieces of news are that we have booked a couple vacations. We will be going to Maizey's dad and papa's cottage at the end of June, and camping at Sandbanks provincial park again in August.
Here is our exact campsite for August! we are very excited!
We will be camping in Killbear provincial park in July. We have decided not to buy a camper yet. We are going to wait until we can purchase it quicker. Maybe finance for 3 years or 5 at the most. This year we will simply buy a larger tent. The one we are looking at is huge. It sleeps 11 people, has 3 rooms, and a built in battery operated lighting system, and fan. I have read some great reviews about it. It should provide the space we need. We can also borrow my brother's utility trailer if we need to have more area for packing things to go. We are very comfortable with this decision.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Want or Need?
When does something you want become something that you need?
I'm talking about moving. For the longest time we've wanted to move. We've been waiting for Angela's dad to decide what he is doing. We're running out of patience. Mostly because we now feel that we NEED to move. We are tired of where we live, but some things have happened to change that. Last evening I spent the night first listening to a man threaten my next door neighbours with a sawed off shot gun, then throw rocks through their windows. We then spent the rest of the evening listening to police radios from the three police vehicles that were called to the scene.
This morning, I heard an all out fight, I guess the neighbour punched a guy in his face. He was bleeding and she was crying about hurting her hand.
The fact is, it has gone from being annoying disturbences (loud radios, smoking, domestic arguments) to full out violence. We don't feel safe, nor do we want to raise our child in this type of neighbourhood. We need to get out of there and soon!
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I'm talking about moving. For the longest time we've wanted to move. We've been waiting for Angela's dad to decide what he is doing. We're running out of patience. Mostly because we now feel that we NEED to move. We are tired of where we live, but some things have happened to change that. Last evening I spent the night first listening to a man threaten my next door neighbours with a sawed off shot gun, then throw rocks through their windows. We then spent the rest of the evening listening to police radios from the three police vehicles that were called to the scene.
This morning, I heard an all out fight, I guess the neighbour punched a guy in his face. He was bleeding and she was crying about hurting her hand.
The fact is, it has gone from being annoying disturbences (loud radios, smoking, domestic arguments) to full out violence. We don't feel safe, nor do we want to raise our child in this type of neighbourhood. We need to get out of there and soon!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Nothing I love more!
There is nothing I love more than listening to Angela and Maizey interact together. I didn't sleep well last night. I have been forgetting to take my Iron pills at night, and that leads me to get Restless legs. (Restless Leg Syndrome) Anyone who has restless legs can tell you it's terrible. There is nothing more frustrating. Anyway, I came home from work early today to sleep because I just wasn't being productive. I took some of the float time I still have and was home by 1pm. Angela was off today and had made some appointments with the bank to talk about an account she had previously shared with her mom. She graciously offered to pick Maizey up from daycare so that I could nap. I heard them come home, and off and on as I was drifting in and out of sleep, I could hear them. It was the cutest thing ever. Maizey giggling because Ange was chasing her, or laughing when Maizey got her "tickle spot". And again tonight, Ange was taking Maizey to bed. I could hear them over the monitor, Ange was singing her a song about changing out of her clothes and into her pyjamas, and about how she was "free from the clothes, naked baby" lol. Totally made up. Maizey was giggling. It just warms my heart, and makes me so happy! I love my girls!
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Dreams!
Dreams are weird things aren't they? Everytime I dream about being at home, I am at the house I grew up in.
I also have frequent recurring dreams.
In my past, I've had a dream that my brother and I were going somewhere with my dad, and the bridge over the canal where we live begins to go up, so my dad accelerates and tries to use the bridge as a ramp and "jump" the canal, only to land us in the canal. Then we have to try to get out of the water before a boat comes, but the banks are all slippery mud and people are there pushing you back in if you manage to get out. I haven't had that one in a while.
The one I've been having recently is that I have to use the public washroom, and every time I go to one, there are no private toilets... They are all out in the open or there is more than one toilet in a stall. As well as the one where I need to have a shower and can't get privacy to do so. It's so weird and frustrating!
Other frustrating dreams are that I have too much gum in my mouth, and can't take any out, and when I can't dial the phone properly no matter how much I concentrate.
I have to say though, Friday night takes the cake! I didn't particularly remember my dream, but as I was showering, I noticed a bite mark on my right hand. That's when I vaguely remembered biting myself during a dream! I remember waking and thinking "ouch! That hurts! Why am I biting myself? "
So weird.
But I love dreaming! Even if it's becomming dangerous!
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I also have frequent recurring dreams.
In my past, I've had a dream that my brother and I were going somewhere with my dad, and the bridge over the canal where we live begins to go up, so my dad accelerates and tries to use the bridge as a ramp and "jump" the canal, only to land us in the canal. Then we have to try to get out of the water before a boat comes, but the banks are all slippery mud and people are there pushing you back in if you manage to get out. I haven't had that one in a while.
The one I've been having recently is that I have to use the public washroom, and every time I go to one, there are no private toilets... They are all out in the open or there is more than one toilet in a stall. As well as the one where I need to have a shower and can't get privacy to do so. It's so weird and frustrating!
Other frustrating dreams are that I have too much gum in my mouth, and can't take any out, and when I can't dial the phone properly no matter how much I concentrate.
I have to say though, Friday night takes the cake! I didn't particularly remember my dream, but as I was showering, I noticed a bite mark on my right hand. That's when I vaguely remembered biting myself during a dream! I remember waking and thinking "ouch! That hurts! Why am I biting myself? "
So weird.
But I love dreaming! Even if it's becomming dangerous!
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Wednesday, February 22, 2012
It's snowing. Tonight is the snow that I like. The slow, silent kind of snow. It's winter wonderland kind of snow. I find it peaceful. I just want to sit outside and watch it, breath it in.
Maizey has been teething a lot. She got her lower right first molar and currently has her lower left an her top right and left first molars coming in. We are still waiting for her cuspids. She is really rather cranky but does well for the amount of pain I'm sure she is feeling.
She is full on walking now. It's so weird for me. I'll be just sitting on the couch and she comes walking out of the kitchen ... She crawls if she falls, but will ge up a soon as she finds something to pull up on. I think it's funny that she will stand up without help when she is on the couch or bed, but won't do it if she's on the floor.
She's just so amazing!
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Maizey has been teething a lot. She got her lower right first molar and currently has her lower left an her top right and left first molars coming in. We are still waiting for her cuspids. She is really rather cranky but does well for the amount of pain I'm sure she is feeling.
She is full on walking now. It's so weird for me. I'll be just sitting on the couch and she comes walking out of the kitchen ... She crawls if she falls, but will ge up a soon as she finds something to pull up on. I think it's funny that she will stand up without help when she is on the couch or bed, but won't do it if she's on the floor.
She's just so amazing!
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Thursday, February 9, 2012
The girl can walk!
Maizey update...
Maizey has started walking between Ange and I, up to 9 steps. We managed to get a video of it, but aren't sure we can post it tonight cause we seem to have a virus on our computer. Ugh.
She had a huge wipeout and landed on her face, and she's a little timid to try again.
I'm getting a little worried about speech. She says some stuff but doesn't even attempt most things I think kids her age should be saying.
She says : up, mom, mama, papa, dada, doggie, kitty, susu, hi, bye, nana
Things I feel she should say: no, please, thankyou, down, grandma... She's 14.5 months... What do you think.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Maizey has started walking between Ange and I, up to 9 steps. We managed to get a video of it, but aren't sure we can post it tonight cause we seem to have a virus on our computer. Ugh.
She had a huge wipeout and landed on her face, and she's a little timid to try again.
I'm getting a little worried about speech. She says some stuff but doesn't even attempt most things I think kids her age should be saying.
She says : up, mom, mama, papa, dada, doggie, kitty, susu, hi, bye, nana
Things I feel she should say: no, please, thankyou, down, grandma... She's 14.5 months... What do you think.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Home/Camping/Decisions
I've been home from Jamaica for just over a week now. I had a great time. I think I have become addicted to all inclusive vacations because I keep looking up new ones online. I am not sure where I would like to go next, but I do know I am going to go with my family. I had a great time with my friend, but it was just so beautiful there that I can't imagine doing it again and not sharing it with my family. I was looking at Barbados (gay friendly) and thinking maybe Ange and I should get married down there. A destination wedding. Could be a lot of fun. I just worry that all of the people we want to be there, wouldn't be able to come. I have a few teacher friends, so I would have to cater to their schedule, which would be the more expensive times. So much to think about.
Speaking of Vacation, I booked our campsite for "Killbear Provincial Park" this summer. I went there when I was a little kid. Maybe 5 or 6 years old. My brother and his family go every year. It is a beautiful park, and I can't wait to go. I booked for 23 nights. Okay, this seems like a long time right? Well it is. The problem with the provincial park reservation system is that you can book up to 5 months in advance. Okay, fine and dandy, but you can book for up to 23 nights at a time. If you want a really nice site, and a guarantee that you can even get a site, it is best to book as early as possible. What most people end up doing is booking 5 months and 23 days before the last day of their stay and cancelling the time they don't need after a month. Even doing it this way doesn't get you the very best spot. It's all so confusing. So right now I have over $800.00 worth of camping sitting on my credit card. I can cancel the time I don't need in 21 days from now, But it will cost me 10% the current price for all 23 days. It bugs me, but at the same time, If the money is going directly to the parks, it's okay.
We still really want to buy a camper trailer. I look frequently at them on line. At first we were in the market for a tent trailer, but when we went to look at them, we decided that we liked the "hybrids" better for the price. A hybrid is a hard sided trailer with tent-like sleeping areas that fold out similarly to a tent trailer. I was all set on an (up to) 18 foot hybrid, but then I realized that we camp in bear country. I know that in bear country, you can't keep any food in your tent or out in the open at night at all. You must lock it in the trunk of your car or in the car in general, covered so that bears can't see it. You have to do the same for a tent trailer. Okay, my question is... Do you have to do the same with a Hybrid. It has a stove and a fridge and cupboards etc inside, but it also has the soft sides that a bear could rip through and attack you to get the food inside. Well, I don't want this to happen. I suppose I will have to do some research. I have begun to look at completely hard sided camper trailers though, and there are some nice options out there. The biggest reason we like the Hybrid, was because of the sleeping capacity a lot of them have. Because of the fold out bed areas, they generally could fit up to 8 people in them for sleeping. Most of the hard sided ones, only had a sleeping capacity of 4 or 5 (generally 2 of those a single bunk bed and 1 a "couch"). I just don't feel that would suit our needs. I want to be able to have more people stay with us in the trailer. That being said. Most camp grounds, only allow up to 6 people on a camp site, so would we need more than a sleeping capacity of 6?
I found a hard sided camper with a sleeping capacity of 9. A queen bed, a double bunk bed, a fold down table/turns into a double bed, and a couch. It is longer than I really wanted to consider, but the idea is growing on me. It is also more expensive than I wanted to consider too. The problem is, credit! They finance them for you for like, 30 years, and your payment ends up being only about $60 every two weeks. It's hard for me to turn that down. I am a credit whore! It just makes sense to me to buy that, especially because we are a camping family, and this will be most of our vacations for the rest of our life. We already have two camping trips planned for this summer. Someone once told me to think of it as an "investment into your family memories and fun". On the other hand, it seems expensive to pay $30 a week for something you may use for 2 or 3 weeks a summer. Although they have heaters in them so your camping could begin in spring and last into fall. There are so many things to consider when making this decision. I have looked into renting them, and they cost almost $1000.00 a week to rent, and that's not even a really nice one. We might as well spend that $1000 and rent another cottage. Problem is, we want to go to the provincial parks and camp.
I have been thinking about my old friends often. It was around this time last year that we stopped speaking to them and them to us. I miss them frequently, but then I think about all of the broken parts of the friendship, and realize that it just could never work without major changes. I'm neither sure anyone thinks its worth it to change those things, nor, do I even think that anyone except for me is interested in even considering it. I wonder sometimes if they miss us, or even give this a second thought. An intuition won't let me let this go. I can't figure out what it is that I need to leave this behind.
Angela and I got a new couch yesterday. Our old bi-cast leather ones were all ripped and uncomfortable. They looked nice when we bought them, but honestly, they were never that comfortable to begin with. They were over-sized and now that we have the new one, I realize just how much the dominated the space in our living room. We got a sectional. We were going to wait until we moved, but we just couldn't stand our old ones anymore. Everything about this new couch just feels so much better than the old ones. We can even lounge comfortably on this one.
Okay, I had better get back to work. I am neglecting my duties now.
Speaking of Vacation, I booked our campsite for "Killbear Provincial Park" this summer. I went there when I was a little kid. Maybe 5 or 6 years old. My brother and his family go every year. It is a beautiful park, and I can't wait to go. I booked for 23 nights. Okay, this seems like a long time right? Well it is. The problem with the provincial park reservation system is that you can book up to 5 months in advance. Okay, fine and dandy, but you can book for up to 23 nights at a time. If you want a really nice site, and a guarantee that you can even get a site, it is best to book as early as possible. What most people end up doing is booking 5 months and 23 days before the last day of their stay and cancelling the time they don't need after a month. Even doing it this way doesn't get you the very best spot. It's all so confusing. So right now I have over $800.00 worth of camping sitting on my credit card. I can cancel the time I don't need in 21 days from now, But it will cost me 10% the current price for all 23 days. It bugs me, but at the same time, If the money is going directly to the parks, it's okay.
We still really want to buy a camper trailer. I look frequently at them on line. At first we were in the market for a tent trailer, but when we went to look at them, we decided that we liked the "hybrids" better for the price. A hybrid is a hard sided trailer with tent-like sleeping areas that fold out similarly to a tent trailer. I was all set on an (up to) 18 foot hybrid, but then I realized that we camp in bear country. I know that in bear country, you can't keep any food in your tent or out in the open at night at all. You must lock it in the trunk of your car or in the car in general, covered so that bears can't see it. You have to do the same for a tent trailer. Okay, my question is... Do you have to do the same with a Hybrid. It has a stove and a fridge and cupboards etc inside, but it also has the soft sides that a bear could rip through and attack you to get the food inside. Well, I don't want this to happen. I suppose I will have to do some research. I have begun to look at completely hard sided camper trailers though, and there are some nice options out there. The biggest reason we like the Hybrid, was because of the sleeping capacity a lot of them have. Because of the fold out bed areas, they generally could fit up to 8 people in them for sleeping. Most of the hard sided ones, only had a sleeping capacity of 4 or 5 (generally 2 of those a single bunk bed and 1 a "couch"). I just don't feel that would suit our needs. I want to be able to have more people stay with us in the trailer. That being said. Most camp grounds, only allow up to 6 people on a camp site, so would we need more than a sleeping capacity of 6?
I found a hard sided camper with a sleeping capacity of 9. A queen bed, a double bunk bed, a fold down table/turns into a double bed, and a couch. It is longer than I really wanted to consider, but the idea is growing on me. It is also more expensive than I wanted to consider too. The problem is, credit! They finance them for you for like, 30 years, and your payment ends up being only about $60 every two weeks. It's hard for me to turn that down. I am a credit whore! It just makes sense to me to buy that, especially because we are a camping family, and this will be most of our vacations for the rest of our life. We already have two camping trips planned for this summer. Someone once told me to think of it as an "investment into your family memories and fun". On the other hand, it seems expensive to pay $30 a week for something you may use for 2 or 3 weeks a summer. Although they have heaters in them so your camping could begin in spring and last into fall. There are so many things to consider when making this decision. I have looked into renting them, and they cost almost $1000.00 a week to rent, and that's not even a really nice one. We might as well spend that $1000 and rent another cottage. Problem is, we want to go to the provincial parks and camp.
I have been thinking about my old friends often. It was around this time last year that we stopped speaking to them and them to us. I miss them frequently, but then I think about all of the broken parts of the friendship, and realize that it just could never work without major changes. I'm neither sure anyone thinks its worth it to change those things, nor, do I even think that anyone except for me is interested in even considering it. I wonder sometimes if they miss us, or even give this a second thought. An intuition won't let me let this go. I can't figure out what it is that I need to leave this behind.
Angela and I got a new couch yesterday. Our old bi-cast leather ones were all ripped and uncomfortable. They looked nice when we bought them, but honestly, they were never that comfortable to begin with. They were over-sized and now that we have the new one, I realize just how much the dominated the space in our living room. We got a sectional. We were going to wait until we moved, but we just couldn't stand our old ones anymore. Everything about this new couch just feels so much better than the old ones. We can even lounge comfortably on this one.
Okay, I had better get back to work. I am neglecting my duties now.
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