Life seems good. I'm enjoying my existence more than I have in a long time. My back pain has vanished, I've lost 11 lbs and I'm feeling good. I have a long way to go as far as weight loss is concerned, but I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not going to lose 100 lbs in two months. It took me over 10 years to gain 100 lbs, so I should just concentrate on making healthier and leaner choices and see where it goes.
With the exit of the back pain came the entrance of this weird leg pain in the left leg. Ok pain might be a strong word. It's discomfort most of the time, a mild Charlie horse of sorts. I can deal with it. The nurse practitioner I see wants me to try getting some more magnesium in my diet to see if that helps.
We're counting down the days until our trip to Portugal. It's very exciting for me to finally be visiting Angela's family and friends. I can't wait to see the country she is from. We'll be there for two weeks.
We spent last weekend in Toronto with my best friend. She and her family live in Ottawa, so we met up in Toronto and stayed the weekend in a hotel. She is expecting her second son in October. We spent a day at the zoo and the next at the science centre. We had a great time and our kids played well with one another. I really wish she lived closer and we could see each other more often. We're hoping to make a trip out to Ottawa in September to have a visit.
Maizey has been amazing. She is so funny! I love watching her grow and learn. I could never have fathomed this would ever be my life with a wonderful daughter. I have been counting my blessings every day these days and doing my best to just live every day along side my beautiful family.
Just because things are going well, there has to be something for me to be down about right? Well there is one thing that has been on my mind the last few weeks and I just can't seem to get it out of my head.
Remember two years and then some ago? We had a falling out with a couple of our good friends... Well a while back I got an email from one of them. It wasn't much, just a well wish for my mom during her illness. A "take care" and that's that.
Well I hadn't thought about them in a while and the email sparked something in me. A curiosity. A forlorn feeling. I kinda still miss them. After I received the email, I went back and looked through some old photos. I miss the fun we use to have and the good times. I'm not blind to what caused our falling out, and I completely can see the decline into unhealthy coexistence began and finally the friendship broke. I'm not oblivious to the fact that I still don't believe it could never be fixed, it just wouldn't work. Too many personality clashes etc... Oh I don't want to go there again.. But I'm going to admit right now, that sometimes I wish I could go back and enjoy the fun once again. I do believe that those were the only two people I could ever have those good times with like that, they are irreplaceable in that sense. And that is what miss I guess.
Sure I still have good times with my other good friends.. They are just as fun and memorable and amazing...
But they were important people at a time in life and I guess it's ok for me to miss that, it's ok and I have to remind myself to not feel badly for remembering them. That they were pages in my book.
I can't rewrite those pages just because I get a somber feeling when I recall.
I'm curious to know if those pages are still a part of their books too. Do they ever think of me fondly? A happy memory or a regret. I'm not sure why it matters to me.
C'est le vie I suppose
A few pictures now.
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