not as worried...

ok.. so this morning... the spotting seemed to have disappeared... so it is really not a big worry at this time. After much research, and talking to friends who have been through pregnancies, I have decided that it's probably nothing, and that I'll call the midwives if it happens to become worse or more painful (it's not painful at all at this time... ) I think I may just be a little bit paranoid. But that's because I don't know what to expect.
I did however let the midwives know that Angela and I will be happy using their service.

Worries

So, I have got myself all worried. Today, I started the day with some brownish discharge. Now, it is pinkish in colour. It is far from being "blood" but it is more like cervical mucus with a pink tinge. So of course, I am assuming the worst. I will call the midwives tomorrow morning. It is also worrying me that I haven't really felt "sick" like I use to. My bbs are still sore though.
The book I bought (your pregnancy week by week) says that having some spotting during pregnancy is not uncommon, but that you should contact your health care professional as soon as possible.
Well, ASAP will be tomorrow. I have to call to confirm that I would like the midwives to care for me first off, but I will do that tomorrow and then just ask about this spotting.
Fingers crossed. I'll keep the blog updated as things progress.

Have me some quality Neighbours

Ya... ummm.. that was fun. Last night I was startled out of bed by the sound of my neighbours fighting. SWEET. 3:00am. I love listening to that kind of stuff... ya, right!... Thanks neighbours. So it seems in the unit one over from us, a fellow was drunk. How do we know? well that's because the woman kept yelling it at him... "You're drunk, get out of here".. then the man would respond... "ya, I'm F*@%en drunk, I don't F*@%en care what you F@*%en say, I'm F*@%en not going F#@*en anywhere, you F&%#en bitch etc etc. Yes, it seems that when you are a drunk at 3:00am, your vocabulary is very limited.
I would have been more angry about being woken up at that time when I had to get up for work at 6, but I had to pee anyway. ;)

Midwives

Today, Angela and I go to meet the midwives. They called me here the other day and said that they would certainly take me on for my pregnancy and birth care. We are to go to an "information session" tonight at the library and then it is just up to us if we want them or not. I am thinking we probably will. I have only every heard good things about midwives. I took the day off, just for this session. I could have switched shifts with my co-worker, but I decided to just take a day off. I will have to stop doing that though, and save all my time up for emergencies.
Still feeling really tired all the time, and some of the time, I feel really sick, but that is usually managable with a little chewing gum. For some reason it takes away that yucky feeling.

long time no post

Don't worry. I'm still here. I don't really have a good excuse for not posting, except that I haven't been spending much time on the computer. I have been so super tired. I am off today for Easter, so, I am doing laundry and I will use this time to catch up on blogs. My house also needs a good cleaning. Oh man I've been so tired and lazy.
I went to the doctor on Thursday. He is saying my due date will most likely be November 28. He has put in a referral to the Midwives, but isn't sure they will be able to take me on, as I take some medication (all very safe). He said that he isn't sure that they can take people who are on medication because they have very strict guidelines.
My brother and sister in law gave me some fun baby stuff on Saturday. Just some clothes and shoes and a few bottles. The clothes are for little boys, but I would definitely dress a girl in most of them. Just maybe not for a special occasion.
Angela wants to find out if it is a boy or a girl. So does our donor. ;) I don't think I want to find out. I sort of want it to be a surprise. I have one friend who insists on knowing what it is, so that she can plan. But, if in the end, I don't want to find out, no one else is finding out either.. lol. It is actually a hard thing to decide. I mean, i would let Angela find out because she has as much right to know as I do, but I am worried that she would begin to call it by it's gender specific pronoun. Secretly, I am hoping that it's very uncooperative and won't let us find out. That's right baby, keep those legs folded up in front. Don't give us the choice.
I am now just past 7 weeks. It feels like time is passing slowly. The baby is the size of a bean. A small bean. I wonder if there could be twins in there? Oh boy. That would be a shocker.
I have to wait for a call to find out where to go for my follow up and all that, so I don't even know when I would be getting an ultrasound. It doesn't matter too much to me, I trust that the professionals know what they are doing. I just think it makes it more real to see that little thing is actually in there with a heart beating.
I have blood work scheduled for tomorrow morning. Just standard things I suppose.

Barf

As for morning sickness, I don't get it. Well I don't have it in the traditional sense of it being "morning" sickness. I do however get Bedtime sickness. Every night when I get to the bathroom to brush my teeth, I start to gag a little bit. Not sure what brings it on. And then, when I get into bed, I have full nausea. I haven't actually thrown up until last night. And it didn't wait until I was in the bathroom either. Angela and I had gone to our friends' place for the evening, to socialize, and on the way home... (I was driving) Yep, out of no where, B-A-R-R-R-R-F. I had to quickly stop the car on the side street, and open my door to let it out. I managed to make it all the way home before it happened again. I'm pretty sure I didn't lose any viable nutrients though, as I had just eaten Mc*Donald's cinnamon buns.
Other issues I seem to be having are:
1) sudden hungries- All of a sudden out of no-where I'll be starving, and so hungry, I feel sick and shaky
2)Big sore boobs - That get in the way a lot!
3)Weird Dreams all night -every night
4)Trouble sleeping through the night
That's all I can think of for now, all in all, not bad at all.

I am sure the dogs know that there is a baby in there. The other day, Bennie, the smallest dog, (shi-tzu x poodle x terrier of some kind) was sitting on my lap. We had a few people over for a small birthday party for Angela. Well some of them the dog didn't know, and he kept growling at them when they would come close to me. He only did it with me though. He's never been like that. He also spends a lot of time sitting on my lap with his head placed right on my uterus.
Cookie, the bigger girl dog, (pug x beagle x Boston terrier) competes with Bennie to get the closer seat to me when we are sitting on the couch. Both dogs, will leave Angela's side to come and sit with me if it becomes an option.
Well anyway, Last night was a rough one. I think maybe Cookie had decided to show us just a taste of what we're in for. She started whining at 4:30 this morning, so I had to go down and check on her. She went out-side, and wasn't pleased that it was raining, so she stood at the door waiting to come back in. After several prompts from me, She finally went and made number 2. So, I figured that was what the whining was about. Well, at 5:50, she started whining again. Now, this is 10 minutes before my alarm was set to go off, so I just got up and I tried letting her out again, and again, she just stood at the door, so I let her back in, and tried giving her some food, figuring she was hungry, but she didn't eat. I finally figured out that she wanted a walk. But that will have to wait until after work, as I didn't have time to take her on a walk this morning before work. She better not think either that we're going to start getting up at 4:30am to walk her. LOL.
I figured it won't be as bad with a baby, because at least I won't have to come to work and be pleasant after the all night wakings.

Time goes by so slowely

So.. it feels like forever since I posted last. It hasn't even been a whole week. It was a week ago tonight that we got our BFP. This is going to be a long 9 months.

We told my mom about it last Friday. I was going to wait to see the doctor first, but then we decided not to, I know a lot of people want to wait a full 3 months to tell anyone about pregnancy, but we figured if anything happened, we'd want the support of our close friends and family anyway.

Today, I feel like I have the worst PMS that I have ever had in my life. I have not patience for anything... and everything is annoying. Like the fact that Survivor is on a day early but I'm not watching it because I am at work... and because it is the one where they just review everything. My shoes are annoying, and I want to take them off, but I can't because I am at work.

Well.. I guess I am a very boring person. I don't really have much else to talk about here.

13 or 15 DPO?

I really don't know if I am 13 or 15 DPO today. I'll tell you why. I normally have 33 day cycles, with exactly 14 days after ovulation. Even the time I had a 28 day cycle, there were 14 days after ovulation. Usually my OPK predicts ovulation on day 19 of my cycle. This month it was predicted on day 21 of my cycle. This is why I wonder if I am on a 35 day cycle this month.
I guess this all doesn't matter very much because yesterday evening, and again today, I got my BFP!

It is still very early for a BFP, but I called the Dr. today, and they don't want me in until April 9th. Lets hope it works out! :)
I got brave and added a ticker. I might have to change it after I see the doctor or what not, but for now.. it says I am 4 weeks.
Good Luck to all the other TTCers out there... It is possible!

PS. I was going to wait to tell my mom, but I don't think I will because my Doctor's apointment is 3 weeks away.

Another MEME

I just got tagged by Teaberry at 04-05-2008

Here are my Answers...
I am not really going to tag anyone because I don't know that many bloggers. But if you do read this, and want to be tagged, feel free to tag yourself on my behalf, and let me know so that I can check out your blog for your answers!

Step 1: respond and rework -- answer the questions on your own blog , replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own invention
Step 2: tag - eight other un-tagged people.

1) What do you do for a living? I am a community living counsellor for an agency in the Niagara region. I work with adults (18+) who have developmental delay in one form or another. I have recently begun working with younger adults, and it proves to be very challenging at times, but I still come home at the end of a day loving my job.

2) What is your biggest fear? I have to say, I have a fear of snakes. I don't know why... It isn't really a bad fear, because I can go into the reptile room at the local pet shop and be ok, but they just make me feel... UNEASY. I would touch a snake and have before, but I still just get this feeling when I see them, on tv, or in person.
Also, I do have to say at this point in my life, I am afraid of being infertile. I know that I have many options for children, but it has always been a desire of mine to be pregnant, to just have that experience.

3) Do you nap a lot? I only nap when I don't keep busy. Or sometimes, I plan a nap but not very often. Every day when I work the day shift at work, the first thing I think about after I get up, is being able to come home and have a nap. But usually by the time I get home, I'll find something to do (not watch tv, or I will fall asleep) and don't end up napping.

4) Who is the last person you hugged? Angela. She just left to go see her family to discuss a surgery that her dad needs to get.

5) What websites do you visit when you go online? Usually, My blogs that I follow, as well Hotmail, and Facebook.. and if it is Sunday, I check out postsecret.

6) What was the last thing you bought? Today, I stopped at the grocery store and got some groceries. Just some buns, some pork, lettuce, tomato, bananas, green onion and celery. I think I am going to make bbq pork on a bun with potato salad for dinner tomorrow.

7) What was the first concert you went to? OK, so the first concert I went to was New Kids On the Block. My mom took me and it was a great concert ok... The first concert that I went to without parents was Boys 2 Men. But I have been to many since those days. My last concert was.... Kelly Clarkson.

8) If you could pick one song that would epitomize who you were, what would it be? Oh wow.. this is a hard one. I can't really think of one. But my favourite song is "the shining" by "badly drawn boy" ... it reminds me of the best summer of my life.

9) Has a celebrity's hair cut ever influenced your own hairstyle? LOL Joe Mc Intyre from the NKOTB. (Way back in the day)

10) What is your most embarrassing moment? Hmmm.. Embarrassing moment... I don't get embarrassed too often, I do things that might embarrass other people, but I usually make a joke about how stupid whatever I did was and laugh it off. I guess, the time I choked on a hot dog at my dad's best friend's house was pretty embarrassing, that's all I can think of.

11) What was the last movie you watched? The last movie I watched was The Wrestler, in the theatre. IT was pretty good.

12) If you had a whole day to yourself with no work, commitments, or interruptions what would you do? I get those days once a week. I usually sleep in, shower, walk the dogs, tidy the house, surf the net, possibly laundry, and cook dinner for Ang. Although yesterday, I just watched TV and fell asleep.

13) Do you like scary movies? Some are ok, and most are just stupid.

14) What would you want your last meal to be? My last meal... I think I would like spaghetti and meatballs, garlic toast, Fresh Italian bread with real butter and a Loaded baked potato from the keg... with extra three cheese butter sauce. oh and maybe beef taco's on a hard shell.

Bawling my Eyes out..

So, on the way home today from work, I came upon an intersection that was blocked by police cars, and I could see up the road more police cars, with lights flashing. My first though was "Accident". But no, it wasn't. What it was, was a funeral procession. Not just any funeral procession, it was the funeral procession of a fallen Canadian Soldier. He is a Hero. The streets were lined with people waving their Canadian flags, and showing their respect for a man from our own community who died serving his country. I bawled as I drove slowly a few cars behind the last police car.

*********
My nipples are still sore. Just the nipples and sort of the edge of my boobs near the arm pit. I can't really tell if they are as sore, or not as sore as they were on Wednesday. They are also more erect (mostly at night) than usual, it's like I am cold all the time, but I'm not really cold. I have to say I am getting quite use to it, although I had a weird sleep last night. I don't know what was weird about it really. It was one of those sleeps where you know it wasn't great, but you can't pinpoint what went wrong. I could have been dreaming all night. Kept waking up to check the time, but it was like the time checks were integrated into the dreams, and I know for a fact that I woke up at one point because i was sleeping face down, and all I could feel was sore nipples. Damn Hormones!
I think I may take Stacey's advice and set up an appointment with my doctor after my AF shows, to try to monitor my hormone levels for a cycle.

Getting a Little Frustrated.

Okay, I am pretty sure that things are a little wonky in the world of Karen.
I have been having some really sore nipples. But sore in a different way than the usual PMS.
They (well mostly the left) feel like someone has been grating them with a cheese grater. I also had some bleeding during the ovulation time, and now some very light brown spotting. I am almost positive that my hormones have gone crazy. I looked a few things up on the Internet. (My worst habit) and it seems that High estrogen levels can be the cause of sore nipples. I guess I should probably make an appointment with my doctor to talk about these symptoms, but I always feel like he is going to think that I am a hypochondriac, or that I am annoying him with all this. Sometimes I worry that it is early menopause. That would be my worst fear. I mean other hormonal issues can usually be treated, but menopause would mean I have missed my chances for motherhood.
I am only turning 32 in May, but stranger things have happened.

Monday Morning

Good Day.. it's lovely Monday (after time change) morning! Yay. I would be lying if I said that the thought in my head right now wasn't "I want to go home to bed"
Yep, I'm at work.
Not too much going on. I just thought that I haven't yet posted in March, so I better do a post. I don't really have much to say.
Tomorrow is my Grandma's 92nd birthday! Yay grandma!
TTC update.
We did several insemination's this past week. I am not too sure how I feel about them. I have been having some weird cycle things happen.
I keep peeing on OPKs and they come up several days in a row with pink lines, but the line is lighter than the control, and then two days I had really really very dark pink lines, darker than the control. I don't know. I wish it was easy to find answers on the Internet. I guess I'll have to make an appointment with my Dr. to talk about weather or not that means I am ovulating when that happens.
They say women with PCOS can get several positive OPKs in a row because of constantly high LH levels, but my question is... It only counts as a positive OPK if the test line is as dark or darker than the control line, so would all my light test lines be considered a negative?
So baby-making is complicated.