Drama

Recently, I blogged briefly about some drama in our lives. I'm happy to say that the drama is over. I'm not happy that we've lost some friends, but it really is what is best for everyone involved. The friendship was broken for a long time, and well, I was too afraid to say anything. I kept ignoring the bad parts, and the flaws and faults of my friends, as I am sure they did ours as well, in hopes that the good would continue to shine through. As time went on, the good got fewer and the bad-well, it became the focus.
I can only give my side of the story, and so, won't be sharing much of what occurred, as it is unfair.
I do have to say though, it really bothers me that these friends, continue to hold onto their perspective that they are completely innocent in all of the break down. It bothers me that I am the kind of person who wouldn't tell them what they did that hurt me. It bothers me that they can't see past their self righteousness, to admit that half of the things if not more than that, that these friends accuse us of, they themselves were too blind to see themselves doing the very same. (one small example- Angela was upset when she was not asked to hold a significant role in this particular friend's wedding, this friend proceeded to point out that was selfish of Angela and that HER wedding was not about Angela. When we had our miscarriage, this very same friend expressed her upset in the fact that Angela never asked her to come and be with us during a difficult time, making it about her own feelings, instead of supporting Angela the way she needed. Is this not human nature? to want to feel included and important?) It bothers me that they will forever deny this, because their ego is too big to allow them to admit that they are not perfect either.
Maybe Angela and I are not 100% innocent in this falling out, but we are not 100% of the problem either. We at least we're willing to talk about it, and take responsibility for what we had done to wrong them or hurt their feelings.
I will mourn the loss of what I wanted these people to be for us, but will not mourn what we have actually lost. With that being said, I will miss the fun and the good times we did have. As I said before, this is better for everyone.

Moved her

Well, the doctor reccomended that we keep Maizey in our room until she is 6 months old. We decided to move her back to her own room now. She's 5 months. Angela snores. Loud. It doesn't bother me at all, except when I lay awake worrying that it's going to wake Maizey. So, I continually nudge Angela all night to minimize her snoring, so she doesn't sleep well. Also, when Maizey moves at all in the slightest, I hear it, and again, lay awake listening for any indication she's waking. It's a nasty cycle. Not to mention angela's alarm in the morning for work waking all of us. So, in an effort to get better sleep, we have moved her early.
She's been constipated again, so I am likely going to put her back on the Good Start again, provided she will take it now that she's so in love with the Kirkland.
We will be starting her on proteins in the next couple weeks as reccomended by our doctor. Then we'll do vegetables and then fruits. I'm hoping she likes them better than the cereal. She eats the cereal alright, but sometimes it takes her longer or she gets fussy. We don't press her to eat if she's not in the mood because we don't want her to associate eating with unpleasantness at this point.
Angela's sister is having her 4th child tomorrow (3rd biologically) It will be a c section as her first was a section. Her second was a VBAC and it was very difficult and traumatic. They aren't going to take a chance with this one. I'm very excited! We will be going to meet the new little one around 3pm.
Next week, I will have my nephew all week, his daycare provider will be on vacation. Should tire me out really well! I better start thinking of things I can do with him and maizey. I know one day we'll hit the indoor play gym. Other than that, I'm not sure. Maybe swimming one day (if Angela is off one day). Maybe indoor golf, I can put Maizey in the baby bjjorn. We'll see.
So, finally, I can see slight resemblance. Here are Maizey and I making a similar face.


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She jumps herself to sleep!

Maizey has been wearing herself out at night in her jolly jumper. She absolutely loves the thing. She'll jump untill she falls asleep. It's the funniest thing ever!





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Do do

Maizey started her cereal at 4 months as per the doctors orders. She seems to enjoy it. We have also started her on a different formula. She LOVES the new formula. It comes in a can twice the size of the can we've been using and only costs $23.00. I know cheaper isn't always better, but she is eating this stuff so much better than the other. The only thing we have noticed is that her poop is harder. I might even say she is slightly constipated. She has been having bowel movements every day since the switch, but sometimes she only has a small (grape sized) poop nugget. I'm not worried at this point because she doesn't seem to be uncomfortable, or refusing to eat at all. Her abdomen isn't hard or bulging.
I saw a 4 week old today while out shopping, and I was a little sad. Maizey is getting so big. So sweet though. She really has a special temperment.
Things around here have pretty much been as usual. Nothing much to report. Gawd, we're boring. Hopefully once the weather gets nice I will have more adventures to post about.
Maizey and her biggest fan...Tanner.


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Vacation on the Brain

Angela and I had a nice time both last weekend and the weekend before that. It was nice to have time for just the two of us, in a hotel, with a king sized bed. I didn't even miss the jaccuzzi. We spent friday night dining on Portuguese food, and then we watched a movie (Harry Potter, The Deathly Hollows- part one) in the Hotel room. The next day we enjoyed sleeping in, and then headed down to the pool. After the pool, we met up with our good friends, who had come to join us for a Birthday celebration for Angela. We went for lunch, and then went back to the hotel for some drinks. A little later, we headed out to a bar for a while.
On Sunday, we went to the Ontario Science Centre. There was so much to see and do there, we are wishing we had gone earlier, and will definately be going back.|

While spending time with our friends, we all decided that we would rent a cottage this summer for a two family vacation. Our frinds have 3 children, and it has always been something that they wanted to do, take their kids to a cottage right on the water for a week long vacation. Each of the kids will bring a friend to hang around with. It will be a fun time. I am pretty excited. We found the perfect Cottage for such a large group, only it is a little luxurious. It is a $1 million cottage. It has 4 bedrooms, and 4 bathrooms, also laundry, dishwasher, air conditioning. I know the point of the cottage is a little bit of nature, but this place is right in the middle of nature. Oh it looks so beautiful. I can't wait. (Also I can wait because I don't want Maizey to get any older).



My Dad is here from China. It is a nice suprise visit. He got to meet Maizey today. I am so happy he got to meet her while she is still a baby. His next regular visit would be in October, so she would be almost one by then. It is funny, but, Maizey's Papa (Michael) walked by the restaurant we were eating lunch in, so I ran out and had him join us. Later, he called to tell me how much he finds Maizey looks like my dad. Now that he's mentioned it, I can totally see it. Once my dad sends me the pictures from lunch today, I will post some.

Before now, I was unsure that I wanted to have another child. I thought one was enough. On the weekend, I think I decided that I want to try for just one more. I had a lot of trouble with the first few months with Maizey, but we made it through, and we can make it again. Totally worth it!! Not to mention we will probably have less detrimental things going on in our life for the first few months of the next one, lets hope anyway. I want to be pregnant again, I want another infant. But, I want to wait until Maizey is 2 before we start trying. Of course, this is just me talking right now. I will have to make sure that both Angela and Maizey's dad are on board. There is just a small bit of talk about Angela carrying the next one. I would be ok with that, despite wanting to be pregnant again. But again, she isn't that interested so we shall see.

Looking Forward to a Night Out!

I am quite excited that Angela and I will be going out on the town this Saturday Night. We will be headed to a club in Toronto. A bunch of friends invited us to join them, and since we haven't been out like that in over a year, we agreed to go. The only thing is, is that we will be leaving Maizey for the first time overnight. Ugh. I am feeling a little heartbroken. I'm sure she will be fine. Her Meama (my mom) wanted to babysit, but due to recovering from her illness, she is feeling like she is not confident enough. She is still weaker than normal, and has trouble getting up the stairs while carrying things. Her Nana (her dad's mom) was going to babysit, but her father has been admitted to the hospital. Her Auntie (her dad's sister) has stepped up and graciously offered to have her for the night. It makes me so happy that she has such a large and loving family. I just hope that I will be able to have a good time, and not worry and think about her all night. My biggest fear is that she will need "me" and I won't be there and she will feel abandoned.

We are going away to Toronto again the next weekend. It is Angela's birthday on March 28, so we had plans to visit friends in London that weekend. I had booked a Jacuzzi suite in a hotel down there. Well, we came to realize that those friends would be in Toronto that weekend as one of them has some training there. Well, now there is drama between us all, and we were considering not going at all. We decided we would go anyway. Toronto is a big city, and we have the right to celebrate Angela's birthday however we would like to. Angela booked those days off of work, knowing we wanted to do something special, and we have a babysitter for Maizey that whole weekend (her dad and papa), So we will go. Again though, not looking forward to leaving the baby. Dad and Pops have agreed to come and stay at our house with Maizey, so that she will be in familiar surroundings and they will have all of her things available to them. I am really quite looking forward to what we have planned. A couple of our other friends have suggested they might meet up with us there, they often go to Toronto and usually stay in the same hotel that Angela and I are planning to stay in. I wanted a Jacuzzi suite again, but decided against it for a better location and price.

I talked to my dad in China last night. He is thinking about visiting his father in Scotland soon. He was saying that is is somehow cheaper for him to fly to Toronto from China, and then to Scotland, than it is to fly directly from China to Scotland. I am hoping he has some time in Toronto, so that we can visit with him. He hasn't yet met his granddaughter. I would like him to meet her.

Next Tuesday is Maizey's 4 month appointment at the doctors. My mom is going to come with me because I can't stand it when she gets needles. Ugh. The doctor had mentioned that we will be likely starting her on Cereal at that time to try to get a few more calories into her. We have been practicing sitting in her highchair. She quite likes it.

I bought some nice looking rib steaks from Costco the other day, and am looking forward to grilling them tonight. I just need to run out and get some beer... what is a great steak without a beer. I should also get some green food colouring so that I can have a green beer on St. Patricks day today, after all, I am part Irish!

Angela has the day off today, so maybe we will go up to her Dad's house for dinner. He is quite lonely since losing his wife. There is still some talk about him moving down here and sharing a home with us. I have really put some thought into it, and I am really thinking it could be a great situation. He really is a sweet man and would make a nice addition to our home. I am hoping we can get a place with a pool. I had a pool growing up and really loved it. Also, I have visions of having Sunday BBQs with the extended family and friends. It would be so nice. I love being in the company of good friends and family.

Been a while...

I haven't really been more busy than usual. I don't really have a reason to not post. I guess there has just been some drama going on in my life, and I haven't really been in the mood. I won't go into details, and honestly, I am amidst the drama still, but some things are becoming much more clear, and I am gaining a lot of insight. I am the type of person who likes to educate myself on every situation going on. I get what I would call, a lazy education. I look things up, apply that information to my current life situations and then, once it seems clear to me, I stop educating. The one thing in my life, that bothers me the most, is the fact that it is impossible to have an objective view when you are directly involved with a situation. I mean, I feel like I have all this insight, but am I skewing it to fit my motives. Does the fact that I am aware that this could be happening make it less skewed, or does it matter.

good baby?

I really have no place to reference from on whether or not I am a lucky mom or not. I think I have a good baby. For example, most of the time she is quiet, and just babbles, or goos and gaaas.. but rarely cries. She cries when she is hungry, or tired, or uncomfortable. But that is pretty well the only reason. She has been a little cranky for the past few days, but I think it is her 3 month growth spurt. She seems to be hungry and sleepy a lot!
I took her to the Doctor on Thursday. IT was to check her weight gain since the last appointment. She gained less than a pound. she weighs 10 lbs 13 oz. The doctor suggested that we try different formula's for her to see if maybe she likes one better than the one we currently use. He also says we will start her on cereal next month when she is 4 months. She is still eating 3oz every 3 hours. Although I think she is starting to get hungry sooner, like at 2.5 hrs. We can try to give her 4oz but she doesn't finish it. I think she probably has a really small tummy.
So, is she a good baby?
Night time routine... Because our doctor recommended that we have her in our bedroom, we don't put her to bed until we are ready to go to bed. We find that we wake her if we put her in bed earlier. So.. at bedtime, we take her up and change her diaper, and then we read her a book, and give her a bottle, and rock her. Some times she falls asleep in our arms, sometimes we put her down when she is still a little awake when we put her the crib. She usually goes to sleep and will sleep anywhere from 3hrs to 6hrs before she wakes up for a feeding. Then we get her up, change her and give her a bottle, and she falls back to sleep while eating, and we put her back in the crib and she again sleeps another 3 to 4 hours, and we repeat with the diaper and the bottle, and she sleeps again. Usually we will end up getting up for the day at around 9 or 10am. Maybe I shouldn't talk about it... Maybe my luck will change. Maybe I just think she is a good baby but maybe this is not a good baby.. Like I said.. i have no comparison.
ok.. we got a new camera because we were tired of only having cell phone quality pictures, and our other camera is just too big to carry around everywhere. So here are a couple of the pictures... just randoms, trying the camera out.

Happy Valentine's Day

Got Engaged this valentine's day. Ange asked me at dinner tonight. I didn't really get her anything for Valentine's day because, well we don't really do that stuff. Mostly we just get each other gifts when we want to, not for occasions. You know.. not because we are supposed to. Well we went out for Greek food with Maizey's dad and papa. (our donor and his husband). During dinner, I pulled out a "cash 4 life" lotto ticket, and passed it over to Angela and said.. "Happy Valentine's Day" and she said.. "oh we're doing presents? well I didn't get you anything". I said "its OK I'm use to it" as we're all laughing and joking, Ange pulls out this ring box opens it and says "will you marry me?" .. OMG! I cried, and said "of course". Hugs and Kisses etc... Yay.
Here is the ring.
Oh, and some pictures of Maizey too... :)

mamma called the doctor, the doctor said...

I was just so worried about Maizey's fussing when it comes to eating that I called the doctor. The doctor said that it's OK to just let her eat what she'll take. she eats so randomly. sometimes 1oz. sometimes 3oz. Last night she ate 5oz within 3 hours.
The doctor also noted that her right eye is turned out a little and has suggested we monitor it.

la la la la la la tonight!

Yay! Tonight Mama comes home from Portugal. I am going to pick her up from the air port. Yes.. I use to be all brave and this wouldn't have even phased me in the least... but not anymore. I'm a little nervous about knowing what I'm doing. I'm sure I will figure it out though. It can't be that hard. I hope the weather is ok for driving.
I have decided that I am not going to bring Maizey with me. Ange I am sure wants to see her right away, but it would just be too much. I don't think I am ready to drive that far with her in the back seat all by herself. I can't stand to listen to her cry, so if she got fussy, it would not be a good thing. Although, I did drive to London with her back there and she just slept. My brother has offered to babysit for me. So I will take him up on it. My mom wants to see Ange too, so this will be good. When we stop at my brothers to pick Maizey up, we can visit for a while. Her Flight is scheduled to come in at 6:45pm.
While Maizey spent the day with her dad the other day, I went shopping across the boarder (USA). I went a little bananas on the baby clothes. But she looks darn cute. My favourite score? A tie! It is between the Giraffe outfit, and the cute jeans outfit. I absolutely LOVE me some GIRAFFE. I've always been fascinated by them. I also stopped at the mall here, and picked up a swing for her. She loves it. I was worried that she would fall asleep in there all the time but she hasn't .. she likes the mobile. so cute!
I want to do something today.. but I don't know what. The day is going to go by way to slowly if I don't.

Teething?

Ok? A little bit paranoid again... Is it possible that Maizey is teething? She is cranky, drooly (not massively but a little more than she use to), she has rosy cheeks, she is eating.. but also chewing on the bottle nipple. Oh, she also had a second bowel movement today that was more yellow and a little less thick than usual. I stuck my finger in her mouth to feel, and the only thing I could find is something sharp on the upper gums, but they are where the lateral incisors or cuspids are? that would be weird first teeth no?

ugh.. I cant stand being paranoid.

Please feel free to comment... I need advice and a sounding board.